tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-108033522024-03-23T10:43:47.768-07:00The Recovering Straight GirlMy name is Kathryn and I'm a recovering straight girl... I realized after thirty-five years of being with men, that living the straight life is not the life for me. I am currently in the 12 step recovery program, trying to find my way to being a "real" lesbian.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.comBlogger281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1149825543625020682006-06-08T20:56:00.000-07:002006-06-08T20:59:35.986-07:00It's over...<div style="text-align: left;">I have followed in the footsteps of many of my friends and made the switch...<br />No, I'm not becoming straight again.<br /><br />Blogger and I have finally broken up.<br /><br />RSG can now been found at <a href="http://recoveringstraightgirl.com">www.recoveringstraightgirl.com</a><br />Come by and see me, say hello, and update your links!</div>Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1149622762519250162006-06-06T11:37:00.000-07:002006-06-06T12:39:23.633-07:00I'm still here...for nowMy blogging issue continues although I am making slow and steady progress!<br /><br />I obtained my domain name and obtained hosting. I've redirected my domain to my new hosting server and attempted to download the wordpress software. I'm working on it, really I am but sometimes reading all of this stuff just gives me a headache and I lay in bed thinking about FTP and DNS and all sorts of other acronyms. <br /><br />Really I just need someone to do it for me????? (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, anyone who knows how to do this stuff better than I???)<br /><br />Until then, I suppose I will just hang here for a little while and ride out my web issues the best I can. <br /><br />All is well in this corner in the world, the weather has been unusually humid and not so pleasant. HG and I have been painting like you would not believe. Here is our living room before...<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135935602/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/49/135935602_6bee76307b_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="IMG_2414" /></a><br />Here it is now...<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/161840183/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/59/161840183_3c5cf467b9_m.jpg" width="240" height="159" alt="DSC_0007" /></a><br />It's in a bit of disaray (because we're painting,) but you get the general idea. The color over the fireplace looks very pink in the picture but it's not IRL. The name of it is Toasted Nutmeg. The darker is Wine Barrel, and the other is Wilmington Tan, although on the wall it looks quite gold. I was really trying to pick NEW colors from my old house,<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/124527672/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/34/124527672_4e5892dfcd_m.jpg" width="159" height="240" alt="Vaults and upper windows" /></a><br />but alas, I guess I'm set in my ways (and taste,) becuase it turned out looking quite similar. I like it, HG likes it, the girls like it, so that's just fine.<br /><br />In other news...(warning, RSG is jumping up on a political soapbox, read at your own risk...)<br /><br />I guess we have nothing else important going on in our country that our elected officials should be looking in to, so they are discussing amending the constitution to discriminate against more than 10 percent of the population. <br /><br />Nice.<br /><br />I suppose that is more important than other things like a war that has killed 2500 US soldiers and thousands and thousands and thousands of civilians. Or the fact that we are in an energy crisis in this country and I am paying over $3.00 a gallon for gas. Or the fact that we have a major immigration issue/conflict that is causing civil distress.<br /><br />Even <a href="http://www.newshounds.us/2006/06/03/developing_story_bush_marriage_in_trouble_over_affair_with_condi.php">this</a> story seems more important!<br /><br />Why aren't they looking into THAT? Geez, our last president was impeached for such actions, but no one seems to care about W's philandoring? Instead our trusted government officials are debating whether or not if I get married to HG if that would somehow upset the "sanctity" of marriage? What about the "sanctity" of W's marriage? Where are his "family values?"<br /><br />To be honest, whether or not W is having an affair with anyone, I could really care less. What I do care about is time, money, and energy being taken away from very important issues to try to stop me and a lot of other people from having the same rights as anyone else; it's sickening.<br /><br />Then I saw this <a href="http://www.oregonherald.com/ann-coulter.jpg">bitch</a> on the Today show this morning and just about puked.<br />You can read an article about the appearance <a href="http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002614297">here.</a><br />Or go to Today's website and see the video. I'm telling you people, Jesus does NOT heart that woman. Also, she released her new book today; you know, today, The Devil's Day. I personally don't believe in "The Devil," but now I'm starting to wonder if there IS a devil and she is actually Ann Coulter?<br /><br />Okay. Enough political soapboxing for one day.<br />I've got important things to attend to, HG and I are off to Costco.<br /><br />Ciao y'all. I hope you didn't all forget me?Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1149022668721770232006-05-30T13:51:00.000-07:002006-05-30T13:57:48.853-07:00The blogging dilemma continuesI am still trying to figure out what to do with this blogging issue I have. Kristine managed to get all of my previous posts to another blogging host but I'm not sure if that's the one that I will go with. At this point I'm weighing out my options and considering the best course of action. I certainly will keep everyone posted. A big move is coming, Blogger and I are no longer in a happy, healthy relationship and it's time for me to make a change. <br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">It's time to stop the cycle of abuse that has so plagued our relationship for so long and that change needs to start with me.</span><br /><br />For now, I will continue to post here. I have a feeling that the change will happen before the end of the week. Thanks go out to <a href="http://www.randomandodd.com">Kristine</a> and <a href="http://shenuts.com/">Sarcastic Journalist</a>, who have been guiding me on how to end my dysfunctional relationship and move on to a brighter blogging future.<br /><br />Ciao for now.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1148598439859676472006-05-25T15:59:00.000-07:002006-05-25T16:07:19.943-07:00Blogger Sucks!Kristine from Random and Odd here sending out this message for RSG.<br /><br />Because Blogger has so nicely LOST all of her archives and will not allow her to even sign in, i'm am writing this for her.<br />She's currently in the middle of an email war with the people at Blogger trying to see if she can get all her information back and find a way to log in.<br />I know some of you have had this problem with blogger...but you all stuck with blogger like beaten dogs!<br /><br />I told her, "NO MORE!"<br />RSG insisted, "NO MONEY FOR REAL BLOG!"<br />I told her, "Shut up, Blogsome is free...it's a bit bigger than the britches you're wearing now, but you can do this."<br />RSG whimpered, "Fine, but you're setting it up and teaching me how to do this!"<br />I WON!<br /><br />RSG has finally kissed blogger's ass and moved here:<br /><a href="http://rsg.blogsome.com"><span style="font-weight: bold;">http://rsg.blogsome.com</span></a><br /><br />Don't change your links yet, there is a chance she might convert back to Blogger. You can still come here and stalk her, but if you're a long time reader head on over to the new place and leave her a comment with your blog address and email address so she can add you to her new blogroll.<br /><br />Very important note: If you lurk and don't ever leave a comment...go over to her new place and leave her a comment. Say, 'i lurk..' just so we know you made it okay?<br /><br />and it wouldn't be me if I didn't end this 'boob hair'.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1148524904667465812006-05-24T19:10:00.000-07:002006-05-25T11:44:03.913-07:00How to have a really crappy day*1. Find out that the "support" money that has been ordered to you by a judge in the state that you live in is very late. So late that you literally have $11.00 dollars in your checking account because you stupidly "count" on those funds being available on the date that they usually are.<br /><br />2. Finding out that said state isn't even up to date or as organized as JCPenney or Pottery Barn. Why? Do you ask??? Because in order to change my address with said state, I needed to hit redial and listen to a busy signal for twenty or more minutes, then wait on hold, then talk to a representative who asks me twelve hundred questions and then instructs me to give that change of address "in writing" and can't even take it over the phone. Ironically enough, I logged on to JCPenney.com to order some 350 count pima cotten sheets for my bed, and voila, THEY ALREADY KNEW MY NEW ADDRESS, without me even telling them. And Pottery Barn. Oh, they sent me a new catalog at my new address, WITHOUT ME EVEN TELLING THEM!<br /><br />3. Spend over an hour on the phone with Verizon for the SEVENTH time to try to fix an e-mail address problem that shouldn't have ever been a problem, and still isn't resolved after a month and SEVEN tech support people working on it. Seriously people, I'm not trying to access information about the CIA or the KGB or anything; I'm simply trying to add my girlfriends e-mail address as a sub-account of my already established verizon dsl account. How hard could this possibly be? I could probably get top security clearance to a hostile nation with less effort than this.<br /><br />4. Find out that a horrible blog post comment that I received <a href="http://recoveringstraightgirl.blogspot.com/2006/01/thanks-everyone-for-your-support-and.html">here </a>was actually made by one of the crazy people that I work with at my glamorous waitressing job who I considered one of my friends. She even professed to loving me and caring about me when she made this "confession." She claims that she was trying to give me a "wake up call," and "snap me out of it" so that I could realize how good my life really was. Guess what? It didn't do that, it only hurt my feelings very, very deeply. She tried to justify it by saying that I said mean things about her on this<a href="http://recoveringstraightgirl.blogspot.com/2005/06/my-night-out.html"> post.</a><br />She would be the one referred to as "HotBox." I failed to see how I was mean, but perhaps I'm just crazy?<br /><br />5. Be told by my XH that taking my children to Mexico to see my partners parents is "not a good option for our girls at their ages," and that I'm only thinking of myself and not the safety of my children, even though they would be in a very safe environment in a gated community in a retirement/tourist area with their mother and bonus mother and bonus granparents who love them and would look after them. Then told if I choose to take them against his wishes it would be documented. (read: threat, threat, threat.)<br /><br />6. Find out from my oldest daughter that the abovementioned father of theirs told her: that if it weren't for them, he wouldn't care at all about what happened to me. I told my daughter that I was sorry that he felt that way, and that I didn't feel that way at all; that even if they all three dissapeared tomorrow, I would always care about what happend to him.<br /><br />Yep, that's pretty much how my day has gone.<br /><br />*I "borrowed" this title and blog post format from the <a href="http://shenuts.com/?p=1862">Sarcastic Journalist</a>, whom I heart.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1148165052847449432006-05-20T15:24:00.000-07:002006-05-20T15:44:12.920-07:00Ask RSGRecently I received an e-mail from "Kim," another RSG who had a question about leaving her relationship and about leaving her child. Her question went like this:<br /><br /><blockquote>Can you dedicate a post to those of us who may be leaving, and possibly be<br />even giving up custody of their kids? For me, it's because I'm a full-time,<br />many-degreed professional who needs to put in way over 40 hours a week while<br />my husband is a blue-collar kind of a guy who gets home by 4 each day. In my<br />case it's because it's in my son's best interests, but I suppose there are<br />lots of ladies out there who just leave to leave.</blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><br />I had to think a lot about this because I certainly didn't want to have any kind of judgement surrounding it. I think that it's important to weigh out all of the factors in any kind of custody arrangement concerning children, but as a mother and the primary caregiver for my own children, it's difficult for me to imagine giving that up.<br /><br />I have strived to have my children's life stay as close to the way it was as possible, and I think that is what Kim is trying to do as well. There are several factors to take in to consideration, the most important being that you do not want your child to feel as though he has been abandoned in any way. It is important to establish and maintain as much normalcy as possible and keep the childs standard and way of living as close to the same as can be. This would mean, not moving far away from your child, making sure that you are still able to participate in the same capacity as before; going to parent/teacher conferences, attending school concerts and sports events. Do not use the fact that you are not in the same house as an excuse to no longer parent your child. If you are unable to share physical custody, be sure that you have ample visitation and also see your child throughout the week. Kim didn't mention how old her child was, but he shouldn't be going more than a few days without seeing his mother, even if it's just for dinner every other night. Some sacrifices in work and social schedules may need to be made to insure that he feels as though he is loved and safe, and that is what children need, no matter what their family dynamics are; to feel loved and safe.<br /><br />Children need to know and be made to know, that BOTH of their parents love them and will always take care of them and keep them safe. This is true of any divorce or separation situation; not just one where a mother leaves because she is a lesbian. <br /><br />Women who do leave their relationships because they are a lesbian have a whole bunch of other things to address, but that stuff is really seperate from their children. The children need to know that their mother loves them and that's all. When the time comes to address your sexuality; that will be a different issue all together. <br /><br />People leave their relationships for a lot of different reasons; one's sexuality is only one of them. It's important for people to live their lives as who they are and not pretend to be someone that they are not. It's important to be true to yourself and the people around you; including your family. If you are who you are, and are living your life fully and truly; your happiness will be reflected to the others around you, including your children.<br /><br />Being good to yourself and true to yourself will make you a better mother; but <strong>being</strong> a mother is the primary responsibility. You can still live your life the way you want to live it, and fulfill the duties of being a parent at the same time; it's just a bit of a balance.<br /><br />Good luck to you Kim, and to other women who may be struggling with the same issue. It is important to keep your child's best interest, but the child's best interest almost always involves parenting from both parents. <br /><p> </p><p> </p>Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1147994745324582862006-05-18T16:22:00.000-07:002006-05-18T16:25:45.410-07:00Mother's Day PicturesHere's a few photos from Mother's Day. I was trying to make a new flickr badge but I can't seem to find it anywhere on my flickr page. I'm not sure if they redid the page or not, but it all looks different. It's very upsetting. <br /><br />Anyway, I believe you can just click on a photo and it will take you to the others in the Mother's Day set. We had a nice time, very relaxing. <br /><br />Enjoy, I'm off to yet another softball game. This time DD#2 is playing on DD#1's team because they are short a player. Should be interesting.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/148970615/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/51/148970615_e6bcb5b1b7_m.jpg" width="159" height="240" alt="DSC_0020" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/148970607/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/45/148970607_4b7de5af66_m.jpg" width="240" height="159" alt="DSC_0022" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/148970637/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/50/148970637_c29ba50795_m.jpg" width="240" height="159" alt="DSC_0034" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/148970630/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/48/148970630_1f61c8fae4_m.jpg" width="240" height="159" alt="DSC_0056" /></a>Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1147910598189954312006-05-17T16:47:00.000-07:002006-05-17T17:03:18.283-07:00Rant and rave, stomping my feet.It's been that kind of week; a this and that kind of week. Busy as always, with the girls going six different directions at six different times, plus Mother's Day and working and house stuff; you know. <br /><br />Truthfully. <br /><br />All of it is making me a little cranky. The schedule of the kids, every single night having a softball game, driving 30-40 minutes each way, juggling who's going to carpool with who because they are in two different cities, DD#1's games last TWO hours. Getting home late, getting kids showered, and to bed, maybe by 9:30 at the earliest. Then back up at 6:15 for school. By the time that Friday gets here, my kids are exhausted and I start my work week. <br /><br />Today I reminded DD#2 and DD#3 to check to see if their uniforms were clean, switch the laundry if necessary. I told them this on my way out the door, at 2:30. I returned home at 4:00 and sat down at my computer to print out directions to the game and return a couple of phone calls. I called for them to get ready to go. They looked at me like I had three heads. Then DD#2 said, "But my uniforms not clean, because YOU DIDN'T WASH IT!" I came fucking UN-GLUED!!!!! I told her that I had reminded her to find her uniform and see what needed to be done about it, (HG was home and would have HAPPILY washed it for her...) Do you know what she told me? "I FORGOT."<br /><br />OH. MY. GOD.<br /><br />That is the WRONG thing to say to a un-glued, raging lunatic, hot, tired mother who does nothing but run her kids all over the damn place every single fucking day.<br /><br />I would finish this post but I must take my oldest child to piano lessons.<br /><br />I want to pull my fucking hair out.<br /><br />Ranting and raving over.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1147559456112476422006-05-13T15:25:00.000-07:002006-05-13T15:31:57.950-07:00Happy againHG FINALLY came home. I was so excited to see her that I had butterflies in my stomach and was practically shaking on my way to the airport to pick her up. DD#2 came home sick from school that day, so she was in tow. Miraculously, as soon as we picked up HG, DD#2 suddenly felt better.<br /><br />HG had a nice visit with her best friend, and I'm so glad that she went and had fun; but I'm even happier that she is home again with me! (I'm a selfish bitch, I can't help it...)<br /><br />So we have spent the last few days feeling grateful to be together again and as sickening as it sounds, falling in love all over again. Sigh. It's a wonderful thing.<br /><br />We are having beautiful weather here in Oregon and we are looking forward to celebrating a nice Mother's Day tomorrow with my girls, my brother, and my best mom. I hope all of you mothers have a great Mother's Day as well. (I meant "mother's" meaning actual mothers, not "mother's" like, "You Mother.")<br /><br />Ciao.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1147215406558589952006-05-09T15:51:00.000-07:002006-05-10T08:20:16.433-07:00One more dayI miss my Hottie Girlfriend. <br /><br />Of course I talk and text her like ten thousand times a day, but it's just not quite the same. I miss having her here to talk to me, sleep next to me, run around doing stupid stuff with me. No one has done the laundry, and once I left my clothes on the middle of the bedroom floor.<br /><br />I'm a mess. Big pathetic mess.<br /><br />When HG and I first started dating, it was after a brief, but well intended friendship. Neither one of us were ready or even looking to be in any kind of relationship. I told her the first time that we met for coffee that I had nothing to offer someone; I had strings, and issues, and a lot of baggage. Loads and loads and loads of baggage. I had so much baggage I needed a small truck to carry it all around. I was broken and sad and felt very damaged and unworthy of anything good to happen. I was convinced that I would spend a long, long time alone contemplating my life decisions and being punished for hurting people that I had loved. I was okay with the alone part. I'm not afraid of myself, I was just sure that it was going to be a long time before I felt anything other than heartache.<br /><br />HG and I spent several days e-mailing and IMing. I hadn't even given her my phone number because, really, what was the point? I wasn't going to "date" her. I even offered my friend from work that maybe SHE should date her since there was no way that I could. I invited her to attend an event; so I could introduce her to some of my friends. It became very apparent within about five seconds of our second "NON-date," that I was insanely attracted to her. So attracted that at moments I felt like I couldn't even breathe, I couldn't focus, I felt like I had taken some kind of drug that makes you feel like electricity is exploding in your body. It made my chest hurt, and my toes tingle; it was not like anything I had every felt before. Nothing was awkward, the entire evening just flowed and moved like we had always known eachother and our lives had always fit together. We still weren't admitting that we felt anything other than friendship, out loud anyway. Everyone around us just looked at us and smiled; they saw what we were trying to deny.<br /><br />We only denied it for a few more hours and we haven't been away from eachother for more than a short while ever since.<br /><br />Until now.<br /><br />It amazes me so much that somehow I managed to live almost 37 years without HG in my life; but now that she's so much a part of it, I can't remember what it was like before she was in it. I guess that's just what love does to you.<br /><br />Only one more day.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1147208886072823802006-05-09T14:04:00.000-07:002006-05-09T14:08:06.156-07:00Why is it?That just when things seem to be getting good, something happens to bring you down?<br /><br />That some people can't just leave well enough alone and allow other people to just be happy?<br /><br />That some people are unable or incapable of moving past hurt feelings from the past?<br /><br />That some people can't seem to pull their heads out of their asses long enough to even notice what is going on in their own lives?<br /><br />That some people are so filled with contempt that they would purposely put their own children in danger just to cause pain to someone else?<br /><br />I'm having a bad couple of days. If it isn't one thing, it's twelve, but who's counting?<br /><br />HG, please come home to me!!!!!Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1147040832167419362006-05-07T15:25:00.000-07:002006-05-07T15:27:12.256-07:00HeartsickMy HG has gone far, far away. <br />Well, just until Thursday.<br />But I am blown away at how completely and utterly empty that I feel here without her, even for just a few days. I seriously think there must be something really, very wrong with me that I feel unable to function without her.<br /><br />I'm so fucking pathetic.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1146726260815620112006-05-03T23:51:00.000-07:002006-05-04T00:04:21.036-07:00Carefully store your champagneOnce I saw in a movie a scene that showed a wine cellar of some sort. For some reason because of temperature or some kind of change, all of the corks started popping out of the champagne bottles and champagne was squirting everywhere. I don't know why this happened, but I'm sure that there must have been some explanation. I suppose I could sit here and google search it; but really, I can't be bothered. So instead, I will make a very non-scientific, non-educated guess. My non-scientific, non-educated guess would be that the champagne was sitting there, doing just fine, when over some period of time, it's environment began to change. This then caused a change in the dynamic of the champagne. Eventually over some time, perhaps even a short time, the pressure from the environment change built and built and built, until it exploded all over the place and perfectly lovely champagne was all over the wine cellar floor, causing much distress for the wine cellar owners, I'm sure.<br /><br />My non-scientific, non-educated deduction from this movie scene is this:<br /><br />It is very important to keep the temperature and environment of your wine cellar consistent and stable at all times; for if you do not, you could very possibly have a big mess to clean up; and no one likes cleaning up big messes.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1146672126313721592006-05-03T08:36:00.000-07:002006-05-03T09:02:06.453-07:00Managing the mahemBusy is an understatement to describe my life at this time. I suppose that I have impeccable timing when it comes to moving because we decided to do it at the busiest times of my childrens year. <br /><br />Forget about the boxes for a moment, (although for me, this is difficult as I am looking at about twelve of them in our office...) My children's school activities have been insane. They have been going on field trips like you wouldn't believe, DD#1 has had a HUGE state project that was turned in today, and DD#2 has to do a report on a country. Plus, end of year concerts, choir concerts, recorder concerts, piano recitals etc. And to top it all off; they are ALL THREE playing softball which equals SIX softball games PER WEEK. Yes, we have softball games every day that we have the girls, two each on M-W, and one each on T-TH. And it's not like the games are here in the town that we live in, oh no, that in itself would be way too convenient. We travel for most of the games, to other towns, far, far away.<br /><br />And <em>some</em> people wonder why I don't have a full time job right now???<br /><br />I'm not exactly sure how I manage to get myself into thses things. It always seems like a good idea at the time, softball is good exercise for kids, right? School is a good thing for them too, right? Having them in the first place? That was a little out of my control, but we went with it. <br /><br />When you're handed that baby for the first time and you look at how cute and little they are, you don't realize that in just a few short years you will be broke and exhausted from their damn schedules. DD#3 told me yesterday that she wants to take gymnastics. DD#2 said that she did too. DD#1 signed up to be in band next year and play the clarinet. <br /><br />What the hell happened to me and how did I get all of these children????<br />How do I make it STOP???<br /><br />Someone please remind me that they grow up fast and before I kow it they will be off to college and out of the house, (and I'll miss them??)<br /><br />Remind me that all of this activity (and my involvement,) is going to make them good, solid, responsible, and productive members of society. Remind me that if they weren't so active, they would probably be addicted to potato chips and video games and end up using drugs and getting pregnant at age 13.<br /><br />Because after sitting in the cold watching two hours of VERY painful softball games four days a week, I might forget. <br /><br />My goal was to have every box out of the house by today. <br />That is not going to happen. <br />Eventually softball season will end, I guess I'll contend with those boxes then. Perhaps at that time my well adjusted, non-bored, non-video-game-addicted children will be able to help me.<br />I'll try to remind myself of that possibility.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1146153914434396412006-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:002006-04-27T14:10:22.220-07:00The MoveOkay blogging friends, I'm doing the best I can here. My computer is working VERY slow as I am "borrowing" a wireless connection from my neighbors and it has a "low" signal, making is slow go for uploading mass amounts of pictures to Flickr.<br /><br />But here is our move story in pictures:<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931133/"><img height="240" alt="IMG_2362" src="http://static.flickr.com/46/135931133_ae2a185a65_m.jpg" width="180" /></a><br />This is the day we got the keys and HG opened the door for the first time. I wanted to carry her over the threshold, but she wouldn't let me! We wanted to go over and rid the house of "boy energy" before we moved in. I don't think I mentioned that we bought the house from a gay couple, we like the gay energy, just not the boy energy!<br /><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931078/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2374" src="http://static.flickr.com/54/135931078_63c7140856_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Here I am smudging the house with cedar, white sage, and some other crystal type incense that smelled really good. We let it burn in the middle of the house, downstairs and upstairs, and smudged with the white sage in every room and every corner. (boy energy knows how to hide places...)<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931046/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2368" src="http://static.flickr.com/52/135931046_ee17e6da98_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Empty, clean house. This is the dining room looking into the living room.<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931032/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2364" src="http://static.flickr.com/45/135931032_78d705d86e_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Me in the kitchen looking hugely fat. Since being with HG I have gained about forty to fifty pounds. Luckily she likes me however I am.<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931236/"><img height="240" alt="IMG_2363" src="http://static.flickr.com/44/135931236_d383e3e960_m.jpg" width="180" /></a><br />HG is so freakin cute!<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">It's moving day!</span><br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931220/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2377" src="http://static.flickr.com/45/135931220_436d55c5e7_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />We know how to start the day off right! Unfortunately these bloody mary's were NOT made by Hottie Mama (HG's Mama.) They were pretty good though!<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931149/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2382" src="http://static.flickr.com/55/135931149_1bd1f760da_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />God bless movers.<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931149/"></a><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135931016/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2385" src="http://static.flickr.com/45/135931016_c920002a3f_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Right after the movers left, our friend Darcy brought us pizza and beer, and our first housewarming card!<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135932009/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2398" src="http://static.flickr.com/56/135932009_7d55132cdc_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Ginger and Abby came to the new house later that first day. They were quite excited sniffing everything. Here Ginger just looks confused.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Pictures from this morning:<br /></span><a href="http://www.packof2.blogspot.com">Shelly</a> came over yesterday and helped us unpack. My goal was to get all of the boxes out of the downstairs, which I achieved thanks to her. Of course I had to listen to teasing from she and HG about how many sets of matching salt and pepper shakers I have. Don't those silly girls know that you need a set for each guest at your dinner party? Not to mention the ration of shit I got for my gold charger plates. Kami, help a girl out here?<br />Dining Room:<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135935571/"><img height="240" alt="IMG_2412" src="http://static.flickr.com/56/135935571_66c5068ad0_m.jpg" width="180" /></a><br />Into the Living Room:<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135935590/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2413" src="http://static.flickr.com/52/135935590_360f9120b0_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Kitchen:<br /><a title="Photo Sharing" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlskickass/135935553/"><img height="180" alt="IMG_2417" src="http://static.flickr.com/51/135935553_4de05c12f6_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />Yes, those are post-it notes labeling where I want everything to go in the cabinets. I also labeled every room with one as well as all of the furniture, (for the movers.) Yes, I know, don't even say it.<br /><br />That's it for now. You'll have to wait for the upstairs. The family room is about done, but the bedrooms and the office are a hellacious mess. Goal today: Put away my damn clothes that are all over the closet on the floor and in baskets!<br /><br />Finally I must make a shout out to new readers. First, my soon-to-be-mother-out-law and my soon-to-be-sisters-out-law. I do crazy things when I drink tequila in Mexico, like give out the name of my blog to people that I SHOULD be being on my best behavoir with. One promise I will make: I will not draw ANY diagrams, charts, or graphs explaining who I am. I will, however, blog about it to the entire civilized world with an internet connection.<br /><br />Second, to my sweet friend Lauren and her sweet husband Spencer and their sweet baby Ella. They were one of my favorite couples when I was a doula and I found their blog by googling myself, (remember, I'm a <a href="http://recoveringstraightgirl.blogspot.com/2005/05/im-narcissist.html">narcissist</a>.) They moved far away to Missouri, so I am excited to keep in touch with them again through the blog world. Maybe someday soon, I'll write a post about them!<br /><br />That's all for now, Shangie is bringing us lasagna later and my Mom is cutting out of work early to come over to see us. The sun is shining in Portland and we are looking forward to another great day!<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(I know, it's just gross how chipper and happy I am...)</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1146063004423228072006-04-26T07:39:00.000-07:002006-04-26T07:50:04.576-07:00Whew!We're exhausted. And unfortunately Jess, it's NOT from breaking in all of the rooms, (we only managed to get to two so far...) HG says not to worry, we have eleven years in this house.<br /><br />Our house is BEAUTIFUL (although the walls are white, something soon remedied.) I know that the death threats are on their way to see pictures and I promise I will find the camera and upload some later today. Promise, really.<br /><br />The downstairs is almost without boxes, but the upstairs. Oh my. It's getting there, a little at a time. I find myself getting distracted and forgetting what task I was doing and then I end up in the garage, looking around and thinking, "wow, this is a fucking mess."<br /><br />If I didn't say it before, let me just state it for the record. HG rocks my world and she is the most awesome, absolutely fabulous girfriend in the history of all girlfriends, (all girlfriends, not just mine...) I came home from work on Sunday evening and she had unpacked, cleaned, vacuumed, mopped, computers set up, etc, etc, etc. Let me tell you how many times that has happened in my life in the past. . . hmm, let me think here, oh, okay, now I know. . .<br />NEVER.<br />I heart her.<br /><br />The move went well, although the movers had to make severall trips which took a lot longer than it should have, (nine hours with three guys moving.) They were pretty good though, and quite entertaining to watch. Although it was exhausting watching them and telling them where to put things while drinking a beer. Honestly, it was hard, mind stressful work!<br /><br />I promise to post pictures, really I do. Thanks so much for the well wishes and congratulations. It's been a bit stressful, but worth every second of it.<br />Until later,<br />Ciao, y'all.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1145680418445471392006-04-21T21:27:00.000-07:002006-04-21T21:33:38.510-07:00A Public Service Announcement From Shangie!Hello all.<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">***Recovering Straight Girl and her Hot Girlfriend are moving into their new house & can't come to the blog right now...please leave a message & they will get back to you when they can:)***</span></em><br /><br /><em>Actually</em>...they will not have internet access for several days & she can't blog.<br /><br />I'm sure she will have pictures of the new house when she posts next.<br /><br />We are going to go check out the new place in a couple of days ... We can't wait to see it.<br /><br />Congratulations Recovering Straight Girl & HG:)<br /><br />~ShangieKathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1145457878064011592006-04-19T07:37:00.000-07:002006-04-19T07:46:05.116-07:00Happy Homeowners!Yesterday HG and I signed our lives away. We are now the proud owners (well, after thirty years of payments,) of our beautiful home together.<br /><br />We get the keys tomorrow at five and move in Saturday morning.<br /><br />Woo-hoo.<br /><br />And yes, despite Shelly's vicous rumor that I hadn't started packing (I hadn't,) I have been packing my little heart out; probably about half way there and a few more trips to the Goodwill.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1145290352215071002006-04-17T08:49:00.000-07:002006-04-17T09:12:32.646-07:00Fitting the mold, molding the fitHG and I went to see <a href="http://www.kateclinton.com/">Kate Clinton </a>perform on Saturday. She was very entertaining and we had a fabulously wonderful time together, as we always do. Kate Clinton is a lesbian comedian who is celebrating 25 years of doing comedy. One of her more famous lesbian jokes is:<br /><br /><strong>Question:</strong> What does a lesbian bring to a second date?<br /><strong>Answer:</strong> A U-Haul.<br /><br />So true in so many cases. Why, do you ask? Well, I believe that it has something to do with the deep connections that women are able to make with eachother that isn't confused with all of the game playing and courting rituals that so many men and women do with eachother. Women, also tend to listen and follow their hearts and may not abide by conventional practical, pragmatic, "rules" of dating and courtship.<br /><br />That is certainly the case with HG and I.<br />We have been madly in love with eachother since our very first date, and we been together every day and practically every night since then.<br /><br />We're such typical lesbians.<br />I hate being pigeonholed into a stereotype,<br />but if the Birkenstock fits, I guess you need to wear it.<br /><br />There's only one difference with HG and me that is very different from the joke.<br />There will be NO U-Hauls in this relationship;<br /><br />Willamette Valley Moving Company with three big guys at $95.00 per hour will be arriving on Saturday morning to move us both out of our respective homes and into the home that we are purchasing together.<br /><br />Yes, tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM, HG and I become the proud owners of a beautiful home where we will spend the next eleven years in, (after that, we will downsize...)<br /><br />Saturday we begin our life together as a couple.<br /><br />Sickeningly sweet, isn't it?Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1145203644840174602006-04-16T09:05:00.000-07:002006-04-16T11:12:49.356-07:00Happy Easter!Christ the Lord has risen today...<br />Okay, not really but I really like that hymn.<br /><br />I enjoy Easter. It's right around my birthday and it's all about new dresses, shiny shoes, flowers and candy; what could be nicer? This year is my year with the girls, that combined with the fact that I am also sharing it with the love of my life and my mother and brother, it's a good day.<br /><br />Life goes through ebbs and flows of good times and bad, happy and sad.<br /><br />We all experience hard times in our lives and make sacrifices to set examples or because we're following our heart of what the right thing is to do. Easter is a great story example about following your heart, doing what you feel is right, standing up for what you believe in, and ultimately making a huge sacrifice for that belief.<br /><br />Whatever sacrifices or hard times that we go through in our lives, we have a great opportunity to get through it and then "resurrect" from that difficulty. We posses the gift of being able to pick ourselves up and become better, more perfect people; able to look back at that difficulty and realize that we are better for it.<br /><br />Yes, it's easier said than done at times, but the opportunity always exists in our hearts, our minds, our souls, and our lives. It's up to us to decide what we choose to do with it.<br /><br />Happy Easter Day to all of my Blogging Friends. I heart all of you and wish you much love and reflection today. I hope that you are able to looks at the times in your lives that you have felt "crucified" and found the strength and the grace in yourself to "resurrect" from that situation. Or perhaps you have or will in the future find yourself in the position to be able to help someone else who has felt beaten, betrayed, and hung out to die. Perhaps you will be their faithful servant, much like the beloved friend of Jesus', Mary Magdalene, and you will stand by their side, loving them.<br /><br />I wish you all love and Peace.<br /><br /><br />And chocolate bunnies, of course!Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1144812680404810962006-04-11T20:11:00.000-07:002006-04-11T20:32:52.513-07:00An open letterDear Anyone Financially Dependent on Another Person:<br /><br />DON'T DO IT.<br /><br />Yes, you may have a "partnership." You may have an agreement about what is best for your family, you may think and talk about "sacrifices" and helping one or the other achieve individual sucess which will benefit both of you. You may think you have some security in that; even if something happens to dissolve your "partnership." (And believe me, ANYTHING could happen.)<br /><br />Guess what?<br /><br />You don't have shit.<br /><br />Because as soon as money is involved; there is no such thing as keeping promises or "agreements." Even if those promises and agreements are legally binding, court ordered, or signed by a judge.<br /><br />You could easily be fucked.<br /><br />I was a Stay-At-Home-Mom for almost ten years. I know a lot of you out there are as well.<br />I certainly don't regret being there for my children when they were young, but I made a huge sacrifice.<br /><br />What I DO regret is putting myself in a terribly vulnerable position being dependent on another person for the "greater good of our family," and giving up the best career building years of my life, to keep the home and raise the children, while someone else built their career.<br /><br />I was a stupid, stupid woman, and if I could go back and do it over again; I would do things very, very differently. I would not lose my independence, I would not make those same sacrifices, and I certainly wouldn't trust my "partner" to look after my best interests and the interests of our family. I would look after MY best interest, just like he has, and continues to do so today.<br /><br />For all of my friends who are SAHM's:<br />Be very, very, mindful of what I said. I know it flies off the tongue to say, "Oh, I'd take him to the cleaners..." well, girlfriends, that only works as long as he doesn't change his situation which will then change yours. You can't count on any of that, so don't lull yourself into a false sense of security thinking that you can. Just be mindful.<br /><br />Before any of you fuckhead trolls even dare to comment some shit like, "Well, RSG, you chose to leave your relationship, blah, blah, blah fucking blah."<br />Save it.<br />And I'll just say "fuck off" before you even have a chance to say anything.<br /><br />And so I end my open letter.<br /><br />Warmest regards,<br /><br /><br />RSGKathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1144197797758504922006-04-04T17:37:00.000-07:002006-04-04T17:43:17.900-07:00There has never been a time in my life that I have ever been happier. As a matter of fact; I don't think I have every KNOWN happiness until this time in my life. Yes, I have things that I still need to work out and through in my life but I feel for the first time in a very long time completely capable of working out and through all of those things.<br /><br />There are people in my life that feel that I have achieved happiness at the expense of others. I guess my question is. . . if I hadn't made some of the choices in my life that did indeed hurt other people, it would be at MY expense. Why do they think that their happiness is more important than mine? And were they really happy? Or was it just an illusion of a comfort zone or place that just seemed happy, because I know I WASN'T happy. How could they have been happy if I wasn't happy? Doesn't that seem a little fucked up?<br /><br />Sometimes when you get away from a situation or feelings you're able to have perspective of just how not so good it was.<br /><br />That's me right now. <br /><br />Far away from everything and everyone who ever hurt me; surrounded by people who love and support, honor and cherish me every single fucking day.<br /><br />I fail to see what is wrong with that.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1143847018455958672006-03-31T15:15:00.000-08:002006-03-31T15:16:58.596-08:00Mexico pictures uploadedto my flickr account. <br /><br />I need Kami to get off my ass, so I got the pictures off my camera and onto flickr; but that's as far as I got.<br /><br />More blogging later.<br /><br />Trying to adjust to non-vacation life.<br /><br />It's not easy.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1143578371473390642006-03-28T12:28:00.000-08:002006-03-28T12:39:31.670-08:00We come home tomorrowand generally at this point in any trip away from home, I would be ready and welcoming the fact that by tomorrow I would be sleeping in my own bed.<br /><br />Not so much the case for this particular trip.<br /><br />Perhaps it's the wind that blows in from the beautiful beach. The warm and welcoming hospitality from HG's parents, HM (Hottie Mama,) and HP (Hottie Papa.) Or perhaps it's the twelve hours of sleep that I've been getting every night, preceded by consuming large quantities of margaritas, shots of tequila, bloody marys, and Mexican beer.<br /><br />Probably it's the well being of being with the one I love, walking hand in hand with her on the beach and through towns where I search for "Gucci" purses and trinkets to take home to the DD's. Without an agenda, without a schedule, and without any of the stresses that normally consume me in my role as a mother, housekeeper, cook, chauffer, volunteer, and glamorous waitress. <br /><br />No, I am not ready to leave this place where HG and I have somehow managed to connect on an even deeper level. I thought we were already there; I wonder how much deeper it could possibly go. Every moment that passes, I am in awe of the amount of love and respect that she shows me; showering me with love and attention so effortlessly.<br /><br />It's been amazing on so many levels. I am not ready to come home; but alas, I have no choice and I must return to my "ordinary" life. I will leave Mexico tomorrow, taking with me the contentment in my heart and the memories of such a wonderful and magical time along with the anticipation of returning here another time soon.Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10803352.post-1143212610205789522006-03-24T07:02:00.000-08:002006-03-24T07:03:30.510-08:00It's my birthdayand HG and I are off to Mexico!!!<br /><br />Happy Birthday to me,<br /><br />Happy Birthday to Kristine!Kathrynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03729142248190674175noreply@blogger.com14