And the winner is . . .

It's Oscar night. I did not watch the Oscars because it interfered with "The L-Word," but I did look on the internet who won. I did manage to see a couple of the movies this year, "Million Dollar Baby," and "Sideways." I liked both of the films very much but neither of them was a "feel-good" kind of movie. Lately I really need to watch things that don't make me feel even worse about my own life.

The recovery of my illnesses is on it's way. I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, this is where I thought I was a week ago until I woke up on Tuesday with a cold. I have begun to forget what it's like to not be sick; that's sad to me. I don't remember what it feels like to feel okay, both physically and emotionally. In some ways, I feel as though I needed to break all of the way down again; physically too, in order to start to heal properly. I suppose I can look at my recovery as a two-fold one, I can heal from my poor health this month and as I heal I can begin to heal emotionally as well.

I have come a long way and I know that I am moving forward. I'll be okay, I know that if I keep telling myself that, I will eventually believe it.

My body is healing, my heart is healing, and I will emerge a winner of a life that I deserve.