Thanks everyone for your support and love (as always...)
XH actually wanted to talk to me this morning when I dropped off DD#2 at his house (you know, because SHE has the flu now...) He said that he was sorry that he upset me, we shouldn't talk about such things, he thinks I'm really smart and capable, you know, nice things like that.
I appreciated that very much but I still fell apart into a blubbering idiot of tears as he was talking to me.
It just drains me so much and debilitates me beyond belief. I felt like I couldn't physically get through the rest of my day.
Then my evening just got worse and worse and worse and I feel so sucked dry and empty right now I can't even think straight, (which is good I guess, since I'm not.)
I honestly feel like, aside from my beautiful children, there is absolutely NOTHING that is working in my life right now, nothing. Everything is disfunctional and not working; I'm dysfunctional and not working and I feel paralyzed by it all, like I just can't move.
Or breath.
I need a complete overhaul; lift up the lid, make adjustments, screw some things on tighter, steam clean my engine, I don't know; a labotomy? Shock treatment? Something?
Right now, I'm going to take myself to bed and wake up tomorrow, to another day, that will hopefully be better than today.
XH actually wanted to talk to me this morning when I dropped off DD#2 at his house (you know, because SHE has the flu now...) He said that he was sorry that he upset me, we shouldn't talk about such things, he thinks I'm really smart and capable, you know, nice things like that.
I appreciated that very much but I still fell apart into a blubbering idiot of tears as he was talking to me.
It just drains me so much and debilitates me beyond belief. I felt like I couldn't physically get through the rest of my day.
Then my evening just got worse and worse and worse and I feel so sucked dry and empty right now I can't even think straight, (which is good I guess, since I'm not.)
I honestly feel like, aside from my beautiful children, there is absolutely NOTHING that is working in my life right now, nothing. Everything is disfunctional and not working; I'm dysfunctional and not working and I feel paralyzed by it all, like I just can't move.
Or breath.
I need a complete overhaul; lift up the lid, make adjustments, screw some things on tighter, steam clean my engine, I don't know; a labotomy? Shock treatment? Something?
Right now, I'm going to take myself to bed and wake up tomorrow, to another day, that will hopefully be better than today.
posted by Kathryn at
11:58 PM
26 Comments:
Can I make a small suggestion?
Chocolate, bubble bath, puppy snuggle.
In that order. It will help.
I totally understand, and I am sorry lady.
Ask me for Xanax when I see you tomorrow..I have some again. Sorry you are stressed out!!!
We love you,
Shangie
I hope you are feeling better soon!
Atleast the ex appologized! Damn men!
I think we both know what you need.
I would gladly volunteer this *therapy* if I weren't two thousand miles away and, you know...married. ;)
Hope things look better today.
The good news is is that you can't fall off the floor. It will get better.
I'm all for the bubble bath and chocolate. Maybe a massage!
JR: Thank you and I will take that advice!
Woo: I look forward to seeing you; I have some Xanex at the pharmacy, I just need to pick it up.
Kylz: That's good advice, I think it's a great idea.
Flutter: Thanks!
Syd: Well first of all I am certainly NOT married, at all, it seems as though I'm completely SINGLE these days. You must mean that YOU'RE married!!!! Thanks for the offer anyway!
Tammy: I like your analogy. Thanks.
Redheadmama: I did do my sleeping and I feel a bit better, I think you are absolutely right.
((((HUGS)))), sister.
ANd sandypops: What. the. FUCK? Fuck off.
Oh, hi Sandypops!!! (Sandypops "knows" me IRL, :::everyone wave!!!!!:::)
You are exactly right, and you should know as well as anyone. I had a perfect life and a perfect marriage to a perfectly wonderful man who treated me like a queen. I fucked all of that up because I thought it sounded like a great idea at the time. (I was bored, what can I say...)
And yes, I spend all day sleeping and popping xanex and ignore my children and their neeeds; I'm so glad that you came by to remind me of that, thanks.
My XH is a peach for paying me alimony (which btw, you spelled wrong.) I am so lucky to have such a supportive and loving ex-husband to "give" me money to support the family that he helped create.
And of course I don't care about the hurt that I caused him and my children, why should I? You're right, it's all about me and having people give ME attention, that's exactly the type of person that I am.
I'm so glad that you know me so well that you are able to so lovingly point these things out to me, especially the part about my girlfriend; everyone knows that I'm impossible to be around because I'm so sad and pathetic and the dynamics of our relationship having nothing to do with anything else. You hit the nail right on the head!
The part that you got even more right is the part about my knowing that I'm worthless; thanks for pointing that out too, that was sweet. Good one.
Oh and I wanted to add that I would really like to respond to this further but it's time for me to pop a xanex and take a nap!
Sandypops is a complete chickenshit.
If it is one of your fake former friends...this is not surprising...Those women make me want to puke! I always knew they were worthless. Glad you are rid of them.
S
I seriously don't know who the fuck you think you are, I don't care who you are..I don't care if you are male or female. You are seriously a fucking cunt either way I look at it. You obviously think you know the whole god damned story and you obviously fucking don't. Hell yes she left him..because he was an asshole and he was mean...oh guess he didn't tell you about the months that he wouldn't have sex with his wife to punish her for being pregnant with his child or the times he totally ignored her for months at a time or the fact that he was fucking some little blonde while they were married.. I bet you wouldn't have put up with half the bullshit that she did. You are obviously one of those high and mighty bitches that thinks your shit doesn't stink. You need to fuck off and take your ass elsewhere to bitch and complain. No one around here is fucking scared of you or your words. You are hateful but I guarantee you one fucking thing...I can be much more fucking hateful than you could ever be. Shut your fucking hole if you don't have anything nice to say. It is nice of you to create a user ID just so you can make a nasty comment but you have no blog to go along with it. You are once again proof that some people do not deserve to breath oxygen. Shut the fuck up and go find someone else that will listen to your rambling bullshit. I especially take offense to your bullshit because my father is a gay man and the fact that him and my mother could not make it work because he was gay in no way ruined my life. If you don't think that those girls couldn't see how unhappy their mother was with him you are living in a dream world b/c those girls are smart. Bottom line is..everything she is getting she is entitled to. It is obvious to me that he is still an asshole and I would tell him to take his threats and shove them up his big fat asshole. The big fuck you to people like him and ones like you. FUCK O YOU O.
And fuck you again
and
again
and again
Pissy, we need to just make an ass-kicking team. I'm sick of our sister-friends getting this shit. Fuckin-A.
Clearly a fling with Mel would help. Or a trip to Philadelphia to be spoiled by bloggers who adore you. Chin up, sister. You rock and we love you!
Girrrrrllll.... I know what you need!
You need to get your ass to Austin for the Big Blog Blowout in February and have some fun with the sistahs!!
Damn, I want Pissy on my side if shit ever goes down.
And to the fuckface who shall remain nameless, I'm waving at you. With one fucking finger.
RSG, I love your response. And as for the content of the original post, hugs to you. AdRi and I are putting our heads together and are coming up with some fantastic events to put on your social calendar. It's a whole new year girlfriend!
xxxxooxoxxo,
Lelo
OMG. I havent read all the comments yet, I stopped at Prissy...so I have to go back.
I started reading this post, then stopped, went to the previous one and came back. My thoughts-before comment reading- were...I know, or have a very good idea, of where your at. Been there. I have a bottle of xanax in my bathroom and was going to offer to send you some! Dealing with an x like that, who needs enemies? My ex sounds alot like yours, from what you posted. He's the perfect one, and you ruined everything, you little bitch! Cuz, he's all generous, giving, loving, wonderful. How kind to pay support! Gee, he needs a trophy. What a good guy!
I dont know how much, or if you ever read any of my site, but I went through a very horrible time this past year. Kids would go to school, I slept all flippin day, took xanax, finally started anti-depressants, and always felt like shit. Honestly, without the support of my blog friends i'm not sure where i'd be today. I was on a path to destruction, but it wasent a path I could just 'choose' not to go on. OMG. If you havent lived with that, you have NO FUCKING business judging someone. Its hard. Its debilitating..may be spelled wrong, sorry.
The comment from the cunt really pissed me the fuck off. I dont know you really well, but from what I do of you on you blog and through our email, you are one damn good mom. I say spend the most time with your kids, doing what you do because THAT is what they are going to remember forever. Mom was THERE for them. Went to games, helped at school. That does so much for kids, and their self worth. No parent is perfect, and never will be.
I just want to cry for you, and give you a big hug. Your response to that comment was priceless. It takes guts to put out your true feelings, and it can be the most healing thing you can do.
Ok, i'm going to finish reading the comments now. If you need anything, just want to talk, vent or have a tangible need for something, please PLEASE dont hesitate to email me.
Go Pissy GO!!!
:)
I'm sure sandypops is one of RSG's judgemental ex-friends...they live by the motto, "keep up with the neighbors biz & sweep my own under the carpet" bullshit. Her ex-friends are a bunch of pretenctious, fake, two-faced women who live a lie everyday....niiiiceee!!!
Sandypops~Keep on living in your bullshit life of judging people you piece of shit!!!!
RSG's husband is as worthless as the crappy ex-friends who can't mind their own business!!! They are a match made in heaven.
Fuck off Sandy pops...no of us want to hear your shit here!!!
Get lost!!!
S
Pissy: Even I'm a little afraid of you right now!
Kami: Fuckin A right. Whew, I'm glad she likes me!
Charlotte: A fling with Mel? Hmmmm, I wonder how she'd feel about that.
Lucky Lum; I would love to do that, you girls will have a blast.
Lelo: You're a great friend, online and IRL. I thank you for the invite, and I would love to do some lesbian social stuff with you and AdRi!
Lawbrat: Thank you very much for your support. Depression can be very, very difficult and I have been there many times in my life. My anxiety is probably a little more of a problem but I have gotten pretty good about keeping it in check. I do take medicine when I need to, but not all the time, (despite what SOME people may think...)
1GoodWoman: Thanks for the comment, but where's YOUR blog? Probably not safe to do that yet.
WooS: thanks for the visit tonight and the candy! It was nice to see you, hopefully we can get Shelly out of that job here soon.
Everyone: I just thought I would mention that it's almost 3 AM. Ginger was rip roaring ready to go when I got home from work and I have been throwing the ball for her (over and over again,) while I read blogs and hung out a little. One of my favorite movies, Private Parts is on...it cracks me up.
I just checked my statcounter and Sandypops was still checking my site up until 1:43 AM. Anyone want his/her IP address?????
Ok I would like to add that not only can Sandypops get fucked up the ass by a large, rabid porcupine, and also deep throat an elephant with dick drip, but I will finally spill the beans about RSG's plans for when her alimony runs out.
Fine, you people push and push and now I will have to come clean about it. The plan is for her to get as much money as she can from her x and when it runs out she is going to become my kept woman. Yes, fine. I admit it. Im going to come take her away and bring her to my house where she can sniff things to her hearts content, are you all happy now?
We will just be two bitches who left their husbands that happen to like pussy and Xanax and living off our x's money.
PARTY!
Bugger, RSG, in my over-reactionary state yesterday I missed this.
You're a stronger woman that I am, and thank you for the support you have given me xx
Well I guess Jessica let the pussy out of the bag!!!! Our master plan revealed. I just hope that Hermione doesn't think that Ginger is a toy to play with (or rip apart, OMG...)
Mel: Jessica and I will send you the membership application for the club. I'll send your husband the bill for the membership dues.
Rob: ahhh, I don't think so darling, but it's good to have dreams!
And Sandypops just KEEPS checking in!!!! Busy, busy, busy he/she is.
OMG. I don't think I have ever laughed harder than I did at Pissy's comment. When I talked to you today on the phone, you said, "You have to read it" Dear GOD, you were NOT kidding.
The person who left the comment will continue to come back and check the comments to see if they got more responses. These come from people who can leave well thought out comments bashing people, yet not creative or strong enough to put themselves out there and show us the glass house they live in.
When you were here and we talked about our ex's, for what you went through...you were so fair in your words about him. You didn't bash him at all about his fathering ablities...if anything, you thought he was doing pretty damn good. I am in that same boat. Dan and I get a long REALLY good and think the other one is doing an okay job at it...but don't make us talk about money because we will go at each other's throat.
If only we could just find a way to make some money off Pissy's comments....like...EBAY!
LOL
I love you sweetheart...now show me your boobs.
He might have great fathering abilities but he is still an asshole husband/ex husband. I understand that everyone is doing the best they can to raise these girls but obvisouly he has a bunch of people throwing him a pity party.
SPOPS should go SUCK ONE!
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