Love in Limbo
Well, once again, The Recovering Straight Girl and her Lovely But Confused Girlfriend are "taking a break" from our relationship. I'm not sure when the last break ended but we seem to be on about a two week cycle here.
It seems kind of odd that two people who gave up so much in order to be together are constantly needing to "take a break" from their relationship; but here we are once again.
And here I am, once again, feeling very bad, and sorry for mself, and a bit desolate, and abandoned, and confused, and smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee on my patio blogging to all of you nice folks. *Just a side note, my XH would completely freak out if he knew that I was smoking cigarettes while typing on my very expensive lap top that he bought for me; imagine what the smoke does to my screen, and what if I dropped an ash while typing with a Parliament Light in my hand, yee gads!
My LBCG says that she needs some time to figure out if this is a relationship that she wants to be in. All indications over the past ten months have all shown that it IS a relationship that she wants to be in, but because of her complete confusion, she is unable to determine that with absolute certainty.
Leaving me once again in the state aforementioned.
She doesn't know if she wants to "break-up," she thinks that she needs a few days to figure that out. What did she say? Something like she needs to take some time to decide if she can live without me or not.
Exactly what am I suppossed to do with that information?
I wish someone would tell me.
Give me some kind of scientific formula or algebraic equation or deductive reasoning on which to go on.
You know, an if x=a and b=c then x+b=ac; I don't know, I sucked at math.
Maybe I can do it:
If:
x=LBCG doesn't know if she wants to be with RSG, and
y=RSG wants LBCG to know for sure that she wants to be with RSG, and
z=LBCG and RSG break up, then
x+y=z?
Is that right? Can someone proof my work?
Or does x+y need "time" to conclude z?
Is there a "time" element built into z?
Does algebra take into consideration "time?"
I don't know, I'm not a rocket scientist.
I'm just one former suburban-soccer-mom-homemaker, recovering straight girl trying to figure out one very fucked up situation.
It seems kind of odd that two people who gave up so much in order to be together are constantly needing to "take a break" from their relationship; but here we are once again.
And here I am, once again, feeling very bad, and sorry for mself, and a bit desolate, and abandoned, and confused, and smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee on my patio blogging to all of you nice folks. *Just a side note, my XH would completely freak out if he knew that I was smoking cigarettes while typing on my very expensive lap top that he bought for me; imagine what the smoke does to my screen, and what if I dropped an ash while typing with a Parliament Light in my hand, yee gads!
My LBCG says that she needs some time to figure out if this is a relationship that she wants to be in. All indications over the past ten months have all shown that it IS a relationship that she wants to be in, but because of her complete confusion, she is unable to determine that with absolute certainty.
Leaving me once again in the state aforementioned.
She doesn't know if she wants to "break-up," she thinks that she needs a few days to figure that out. What did she say? Something like she needs to take some time to decide if she can live without me or not.
Exactly what am I suppossed to do with that information?
I wish someone would tell me.
Give me some kind of scientific formula or algebraic equation or deductive reasoning on which to go on.
You know, an if x=a and b=c then x+b=ac; I don't know, I sucked at math.
Maybe I can do it:
If:
x=LBCG doesn't know if she wants to be with RSG, and
y=RSG wants LBCG to know for sure that she wants to be with RSG, and
z=LBCG and RSG break up, then
x+y=z?
Is that right? Can someone proof my work?
Or does x+y need "time" to conclude z?
Is there a "time" element built into z?
Does algebra take into consideration "time?"
I don't know, I'm not a rocket scientist.
I'm just one former suburban-soccer-mom-homemaker, recovering straight girl trying to figure out one very fucked up situation.
posted by Kathryn at
10:20 AM
7 Comments:
I'm sorry, love.
~K!
I think it's about time for you to show this woman the door (and get her key first). If she has to wonder if it's a relationship she wants to be in, then clearly it is NOT. Why are you kissing her ass? If she is who I think she is in the pictures you have posted, she is NOT even hot, and you are, my dear. There are lots of women out there who would give their right nipple ring to be with a hottie like you. Now quit waiting around for this drama queen to make up her mind, get out there and find someone who IS hot (and emotionally available).
You just need to take care of yourself - and your daughters. Only YOU know how much of the emotional rollercoaster you can take. So let her go and have her time... and if you feel like taking her back, then do it. And if not, then move on. It's okay to be understanding and forgiving and to work on the relationship... just don't be a doormat!
wake up from this God awful nightmare and go back to the suburban housewife thing.
Now Big Heavy: I assume that you have good intent, but the option of my going "back" to the suburban housewife thing is not an option.
First of all in order to be a housewife, you need to be a "wife" to someone and my someone divorced me in a very quick, tidy manner from which he pays me a lot of money every month. (He was really ready to be rid of me...)
And most of all, the reason I left my suburban housewife thing is because I felt like I was lying to everyone in my life; my husband, my family, my neighbors, my children, and mostly to myself.
Living a lie is much more of a nightmare than a relationship ending, (or pausing, or whatever it is that we are doing...)
i think about what it would be like to be your xh. a very painful unsettling thing. to picture my kids living with their mother and a partner staying over. nearly unbearable.
goodbye.
Threaten LCBGHYZ that you'll go back to men if she does not make up her mind soon. This should unsettle her and eventually put 'er on the not so straight and narrow back at ya or it will free you up to pursue other avenues.
You're blog is extremely fascinating! I'm addicted like da crack ho to da pipe.
Dr. H.O. Potamus
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