It's Question and Answer Time
You all know that I am The Recovering Straight Girl and am all new to this whole lesbian thing.
I am also a very thorough researcher and like to have a LOT of information about things that I am interested in or doing in my life. I make it my personal mission to find out as much as possible about whatever subject is prevalent in my life at the time.
When I was first undergoing the "conversion" process, I was really wanting to find a book or something to show me the way to becoming a full-fledged lesbian. Well, my blogging friends on the Internet, no such book or something exists; and that is when I first had the idea for The Recovering Straight Girl.
During the last ten months, I have done a lot of research about what it is to be a lesbian and what lesbians do. I have made some lesbian friends, hung out in lesbian venues and happen to live in a city that claims to have more lesbians per capita than any city in the US. (I don't know about Canada, d.) I feel like I have a pretty good handle on the whole thing, (the lesbian thing that is.)
So anyway; I thought I would open this post up to questions from you, my blogging friends on the Internet about what it is to be a lesbian. I want to test my own knowledge and at the same time, do a service to others that may be out there and wondering. Believe it or not; I'm not the only straight woman to "turn" gay. There are a lot of us out there; I even know one right now who is going through "the change."
You can ask anything; anything you like.
I know you have questions.
You can even comment anonymously if you're embarrassed.
Come on, I dare you...
I am also a very thorough researcher and like to have a LOT of information about things that I am interested in or doing in my life. I make it my personal mission to find out as much as possible about whatever subject is prevalent in my life at the time.
When I was first undergoing the "conversion" process, I was really wanting to find a book or something to show me the way to becoming a full-fledged lesbian. Well, my blogging friends on the Internet, no such book or something exists; and that is when I first had the idea for The Recovering Straight Girl.
During the last ten months, I have done a lot of research about what it is to be a lesbian and what lesbians do. I have made some lesbian friends, hung out in lesbian venues and happen to live in a city that claims to have more lesbians per capita than any city in the US. (I don't know about Canada, d.) I feel like I have a pretty good handle on the whole thing, (the lesbian thing that is.)
So anyway; I thought I would open this post up to questions from you, my blogging friends on the Internet about what it is to be a lesbian. I want to test my own knowledge and at the same time, do a service to others that may be out there and wondering. Believe it or not; I'm not the only straight woman to "turn" gay. There are a lot of us out there; I even know one right now who is going through "the change."
You can ask anything; anything you like.
I know you have questions.
You can even comment anonymously if you're embarrassed.
Come on, I dare you...
posted by Kathryn at
3:28 PM
30 Comments:
I totally cannot think of anything to ask you.
Oh yeh and I might have missed this somewhere...I am assuming that your ex knows that you are a lesbian so what does he say about it? Not that you should care but do your kids know and if not when will you tell them. The reason I ask this is because my dad is gay as I am sure you know by now and he didn't tell me until I was 18. When he told me he was horrified that I wouldn't love him anymore which is a totally fucking insane thought b/c we have always been so close. However some of his friends told me that they would joke around about telling me the truth and he would get so upset at the thought of me even knowing. I just thought that was so fucked up. So you lil' LESBO..tell me all about it!
My question is...do both of you shave that area before "going down South" or just deal with it?
And, in regards to that person's question about "going down south," were you nervous the first time? How did it go that first time?
Do either one of you play the more "male" role in your relationship? You know, like scratch your crotch all the time and spit?
That last comment was from me. (The one about the crotches and the spitting.) I didn't mean to post it anonymously.
Pissy,
Yes, my ex knows. He doesn't think that I'm really a lesbian, he thinks that I'm a bad person who had an affair and I'm going through a "phase."
My kids do not know at this time, but I have touched on the subject of my dating women with them. I asked my dd#1 what she would think if when I started dating again if I decided to date women. She said, "I don't care, what difference does it make?"
I haven't revealed to them the true nature of mine and my LBCG's relationship because it really hasn't seemed necessary. They know that we love each other, and that she loves them; we're affectionate to each other in front of them, she sleeps over at our house, but we've never come right out and said that we are "together" as a couple.
I've thought it best to wait until we were a little more settled in our relationship before bringing them into it. It's much different that she's a woman. They have always seen me have close relationships with my friends, and they have sleepovers with their friends, they don't really think anything of it.
Everything I've read has said that if you are going to go from being hetero to homo and you have kids, it's best to introduce them to the idea PRIOR to the onset of their own puberty. If they are told prior to puberty, they usually have no issue with it. If it's after; their sometimes struggling with their own sexuality and it can be confusing to them.
I'm not ashamed, and they will know, when they need to.
To Anonymous #1,
I think that only strippers and women in porno movies "shave" down there.
Most lesbians, I believe, would not think much of the whole shaving thing. Speaking for them, I would say that they would think it's a bit degrading.
Now I personally like to be a bit trimmed in that area and I do enjoy a bikini wax in the summer; but I do that for myself, not because my LBCG or any other girl, would like it.
Anonymous #2:
No I wasn't nervous at ALL the first time I did that. It was the single most pleasurable thing that I have ever experienced with another person. (That makes me one authentic, certifiable dyke.)
Anonymous #3, Merry Widow:
Was that REALLY you Merry Widow? I was laughing my fucking ass off.
The question was,
"Do either of you play more of the 'male' role?"
Answer:
It depends on who's wearing the strap-on.
So then... you have a strap-on????
I heard that lesbians have a lot of orgasms. Is that true and what is the most you have had in one sexual encounter?
No I have something SOOOOO much better. It costs $73.80 and you can buy it from www.the-clitoris.com in their adult store section.
Re: orgasms
Yes it's true lesbians have a LOT of orgasms.
Actually I can't speak for all lesbians but that's what I hear.
The most I've ever had in one sexual encounter? Do you mean all in a row without a break? That would be six. If you mean like in one DAY? That would be 18.
Woo,
I can't believe you are answering these questions...You crack me up.
Love ya,
Shel
What was your biggest fear when you came out?
Great posts! I love how open you are being and answering all these questions! I really can't think of anything I'd like to ask right now, but I'm definitely enjoying your responses to the others. You rock! (I'll be back if I can conjure up a good ?)
Does it gross you out to hear about straight sex now? My gay friends are all, "ewwwwwwwww, a man with woman?!? a woman with a man? straight sex is so gross!"
I have so many friends who've left their husbands for another woman or left their wives for another man that, well, you seem normal to me.
suburbite:
I honestly had no fears about coming out. That part was probably the least of my worries. I'm sure that it helps that I live in a very "gay friendly" area; and also that I am very strong in my spiritual/religious/social beliefs. If someone doesn't like me because of who I love, fuck them.
btw, I hope you didn't take my calling you normal as an insult. I mean 'normal' in /my/ world...and that's not the normal usually observed by regular viewers of say, the 700 Club or whatever or ESPN or whatever.
siisychong:
The truth is, I always wanted to answer that "is one of you more male" question with the strap-on answer.
Actually, a lot of lesbians don't ever use any kind of sex toy, just like lots of straight couples don't use them either.
When sex toys are used between lesbians, they are not used to "substitute" for equipment that is lacking in our anatomy, they are simple used as a "condiment" if you will to "spice" things up a bit.
It's all about what feels good. Some lesbians do NOT like penetration of any kind; some do. For a woman that enjoys penetration fron her partner, then sex toys can give her a lot of pleasure; it's not that she really wants to be fucked by a guy and has to substitute with a strap-on.
Okay, now to address the "male/female" role thing. This is sometimes called the femme/butch role or a top/bottom role. The femme/butch identification is an older "role-taking" term that was used by most lesbians up until the sexual revolution in the sixties. At that time, most lesbians identified themselves as either femme (being very feminine, dressing in dresses, etc.) or butch (more masculine, taking a more masculine role, dressing like a man, etc.)
Some women still identifiy themselves this way when describing themselves or descirbing what "kind" of woman that they like. There are also in-between descriptions like, soft-butch, androgynous (can't really tell by looking at them if they are a boy or a girl.) lipstick lesbians (very femme...that's me,) etc.
The top/bottom role description is used primarily by gay men, but is also used with lesbians too. This means that one or the other takes more of the passive (bottom) role sexually, or is more the aggressive partner (top.) Sometimes this term is used as a verb in a sexual situation, "Are you trying to top me?" Meaning, "Are you trying to be the one making love to me, taking charge, etc."
No matter what "role" each person takes in their sexual relationship (if any,) both women are still lesbians and still enjoy being with a woman as their partner.
d.
I'm glad that you live in such an open and affirming neighbOUrhood!
little sister:
No it doesn't gross me out. I mean, I wouldn't want to hear about ANY body's sex life over dinner or anything.
I don't want to do it with boys anymore, but if someone else does, go for it.
little sister,
What is normal anyway?
Believe me, those people on the 700 club are NOT normal.
No offense ever taken!
I don't know right at this point if I have a lesbian ? off the top of my head, but I did wanna say that I shave down there and I am not a porn star or a stripper. (lol) I like it clean and neat and trimmed, almost to nothing (much like a porn star or stripper i suppose) especially around that time of the month. Much cleaner feeling, and looking!
I saw that no one mentioned that yet so I figured I'd throw it in there.
shellibells,
Yes, I think it is a personal thing. I wasn't suggesting that ONLY strippers and porn stars shave down there, I'm sure a lots of women in lots of professions enjoy a smooth "area!"
BTW, sometimes when a woman shaves down there and it grows out a bit, it can be a bit "sharp" to her partner.
well considering i hate all hair that exists atop my skin, excluding my scalp and eyebrows....i pretty much shave every day...or at least as often as i take a shower....
i hate the prickly shit, even if you're not a lesbian and its on against your "partners" face, its still a pain in the...well...aggravating! lol. anywho...shaving became part of a normal everyday thing, kinda like brushing your teeth, to avoid growback....ouch.
LOL! Yes, that really was me, posting as Anonymous #3. And I loved your answer.
And I'm totally jealous of your 18 orgasms in one day/ 6 in a row! I thought that that kind of thing was only an urban legend. So here's my plan of action: I'm going to the website you recommended and buying whatever it is that costs $73.80.
Weeeelllll, shellibells isn't the only one shaving. However, I had to start because I notice there were more grey hairs down there than on my head! And, as Samantha said on Sex and the City: "No one wants to fuck grandma's pussy!"
Why do I feel like we should all be sitting on a couch with Oprah?
MW,
The six orgasms in a row didn't happen from the "special" item that costs $73.80.
The six orgasms in a row (and 18 in one day,) were all human to human contact; no devices at all.
little sister,
Do you think Oprah will have us?
So how do you mostly have sex? Do you use toys most of the time? Do you do her, then she does you, or do you do 69 so you both can enjoy at the same time? Do you get the most pleasure from toys, hand and figers, or mouth?
Normally, I wouldn't ask such striaght forward questions, but I am just curious, and everyone else seemed to be asking. :)
BTW - You have a great site!!
Cherry,
I don't mind the straightforward questions; I'll even answer them.
No we don't use toys all of the time; actually very, very rarely.
With lesbians, it's often about taking turns. Other times we don't.
Sometimes only I make love to her or she to me and that's it. Sometimes we get tired, (lesbian sex can be very tiring, as it goes on and on and on; you don't ever have to be finished, unless you're tired or have somewhere to be.)
It's so individual about what women like. Some women (believe it or not,) don't like oral sex; giving or receiving.
Some don't like any kind of penetration (as I mentioned before.)
Women can also have sex very similar to hetereosexual sex (one person on top of the other,) and can often achieve simulataneous orgasm that way.
I enjoy all of the things that you mentioned and I mentioned. I like it all, and I like to mix it up from time to time!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home