Back on the Xanex

Well, I never really stopped, but the need for Xanex has increased right now.
The anxiety that fills my chest has started to drop down into my stomach and around to my back, filling me.
It lurks inside me, like something that sits dormant until it's activated.
And then it grows,
and spreads,
to encompass my body and fill me with it's power.
It takes over my chest,
and my stomach,
and my lower insides.
It upsets my system
and keeps me from taking a deep breath
And even though I know what it is,
I still can't stop it's power.
My auditory environment is disturbed.
The loudness of my children is even louder,
their voices are like loud echoes in my ears.
The ringing of the phone stirs it even more.
I find calm here, sitting, clicking.
But the practicality of that is...impractical.
I have children to raise,
shopping to do,
meals to prepare,
laundry to clean,
people to attend to.
And I do it all,
it the midst of this anxiety that I share my life with.
The Xanex helps,
but not quite enough.

May YOUR day be anxiety free.