RSG's residence, searched by local police

So yesterday, I'm in Petco with FIVE children (mine plus LBCG's two DD's) when my cell phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it's my home number calling me. Assuming it might be LBCG or my Mom, I answer the phone to a strange man's voice.

strange man: "Is this RSG?"
me: "ah, yes."
strange man: "this is officer Soandso with the Scary Suburb police station."
me: "what's wrong? you're calling from MY HOUSE"

Well apparently my front door was wide open. One of my neighbors in the land of tupperware and mini-vans got concerned and called the police to investigate. Mind you, nothing ever really criminal ever occurs here; the occasional car break in, sometimes someone's wallet gets stolen or sometimes a persons lawn ornament gets taken, but for the most part, there's not a lot going on in Pleasantville.

So officer Soandso, doing his police duty searched my home from top to bottom, (hopefully avoiding my underwear drawers. . .) and then CALLED MY EX-HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!
XH was the last one to call me on my phone and Officer Soandso went throught my Caller ID list and phoned the last person who called me. Officer Soandso asked XH if we were going on a trip because he observed bags left in the hallway. (They were the girls school backpacks. . .) XH was quite alarmed and giving Officer Soandso quite the inquisition. He wanted to know who he was and why was he calling from his ex-wifes house. He wouldn't even give him my cell phone number.

I asked Officer Soandso if my dog was still there, (I meant LBCG's dog who was staying at my house.) He told me that my XH told him that I didn't have a smal black dog; so Officer Soandso called the number on the dogs tag (which is the Captains number,) to tell the owner that their dog wandered into someones house!
Can you believe this shit?
I assured Officer Soandso that the dog did indeed belong there and that as long as everything looked to be there; the crime was nothing more than my one of my kids not shutting the door all the way. I sent him on his way and hope he then got on with his life catching criminals.

When I arrived home; all I could wonder was if Officer Soandso was judging me for the three baskets of clean laundry waiting to be put away or all of the stuff all over my counters from shopping and were there any of my bras hanging on the doorknob of my bedroom?

So today, before I leave the house, it will be picked up and clean; just in case my house is once again searched by the local police.

I suggest you all do the same.