It must be me
Glamorous waitressing job, Day 5: Things are going fine, people now know that I'm not a complete idiot and I do kind of know what I'm doing. I'm still slightly cheating on my tests, which I have decided that there are just too many of them and they ask stupid questions. No one really cares what the ingredients are in a stupid Cajun spice. If they're that concerned about what's in it, then they shouldn't eat it.
Today I had one of my former friends in my section. He is actually the husband to one of my former friends who doesn't really speak to me anymore because of my alternative lifestyle choices and the fact that I've disappointed her so by leaving my husband (it's been so HARD on her.) He was nice, but not so friendly. I also felt as though there was some karmic reason, some lesson from the Universe that I needed to get it out of the way and face the fact that I was now waiting on someone in my peer group that I would have previously been dining with. I got it out of the way and now it's done, lesson learned Universe, thank you, I feel humbled and grounded. God bless. Fuck you, (did I say that out loud?)
After my shift, I was speaking to my LBCG and she told me that she was going to put an offer in on a house. It wasn't like a, "I wanted to talk to you about something important, I looked at a house today that I like and I think I'm going to put an offer on it, what do you think?" It was a, "I went to work today, all of this stuff happened, and, oh, I'm putting an offer in on a house."
I didn't say much because I was a little bit surprised. Not that she looked at a house or even that she liked it and maybe wanted to jump on it but because of what happened on Sunday.
On Sunday she was completely bent out of shape because I made plans to have dinner with one of our friends and didn't consult her about it definitively beforehand, (I mentioned that it was a possibility, but didn't confirm it with her.) She was so mad about not being consulted that she didn't even join us for dinner. The entire evening was ruined, feelings were hurt; mine, hers, our friends and I felt like shit thinking that I was a bad girlfriend who was not considering her feelings or respecting her as my partner in decision-making.
And then today, "Oh, and I'm putting an offer on a house..."
Did I miss something?
All I can think is that it must be me.
There must be something wrong with me.
Now I know that I secretly think that the world revolves around me and maybe that's my problem but it seems that I just continuously repeat this pattern of being in relationships that feel so completely lop-sided. In so many ways, that is not the case with my LBCG, but in other ways, I feel like I'm in this very weird cyclic revolution, only now I'm a lesbian.
Maybe it's that karmic, Universal teaching lesson again. Well, you know what, Universe? Fuck you again, I'm sick of learning lessons right now. I just want to master the microbrew beer list at my new glamorous waitressing job and have a little bit of a happy relationship with out all of this fucking bullshit that seems to go along with it.
And...
I would like my dog to SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The barking continues; tomorrow she goes to the vet.
More karmic, universal lessons.
I can't fucking wait.
Today I had one of my former friends in my section. He is actually the husband to one of my former friends who doesn't really speak to me anymore because of my alternative lifestyle choices and the fact that I've disappointed her so by leaving my husband (it's been so HARD on her.) He was nice, but not so friendly. I also felt as though there was some karmic reason, some lesson from the Universe that I needed to get it out of the way and face the fact that I was now waiting on someone in my peer group that I would have previously been dining with. I got it out of the way and now it's done, lesson learned Universe, thank you, I feel humbled and grounded. God bless. Fuck you, (did I say that out loud?)
After my shift, I was speaking to my LBCG and she told me that she was going to put an offer in on a house. It wasn't like a, "I wanted to talk to you about something important, I looked at a house today that I like and I think I'm going to put an offer on it, what do you think?" It was a, "I went to work today, all of this stuff happened, and, oh, I'm putting an offer in on a house."
I didn't say much because I was a little bit surprised. Not that she looked at a house or even that she liked it and maybe wanted to jump on it but because of what happened on Sunday.
On Sunday she was completely bent out of shape because I made plans to have dinner with one of our friends and didn't consult her about it definitively beforehand, (I mentioned that it was a possibility, but didn't confirm it with her.) She was so mad about not being consulted that she didn't even join us for dinner. The entire evening was ruined, feelings were hurt; mine, hers, our friends and I felt like shit thinking that I was a bad girlfriend who was not considering her feelings or respecting her as my partner in decision-making.
And then today, "Oh, and I'm putting an offer on a house..."
Did I miss something?
All I can think is that it must be me.
There must be something wrong with me.
Now I know that I secretly think that the world revolves around me and maybe that's my problem but it seems that I just continuously repeat this pattern of being in relationships that feel so completely lop-sided. In so many ways, that is not the case with my LBCG, but in other ways, I feel like I'm in this very weird cyclic revolution, only now I'm a lesbian.
Maybe it's that karmic, Universal teaching lesson again. Well, you know what, Universe? Fuck you again, I'm sick of learning lessons right now. I just want to master the microbrew beer list at my new glamorous waitressing job and have a little bit of a happy relationship with out all of this fucking bullshit that seems to go along with it.
And...
I would like my dog to SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The barking continues; tomorrow she goes to the vet.
More karmic, universal lessons.
I can't fucking wait.
posted by Kathryn at
5:01 PM
4 Comments:
I just fucking love your site. You fucking ROCK! No it is not you..women are just fucking crazy. I do shit like that all the time..I either make decisions for myself without talking to Mr. Pissy or I wait for Mr. Pissy to make all my decisions for me and then beat myself up because I didn't make the decision. Women are totally and completely fucking nutSO! Buying a house though..that is a HUGE decision. I am too big of a puss to do that.
Hi, great find! I enjoy your writing and insight into things, I'll be visiting often!
And yes, I agree with PB, women are just insane! There is no winning, the rules keep changing LOL
but you would think there would be some mention of seeing a house that she might possible consider buying......
what do you think about her putting an offer in on a house?
litlsassy, Thanks for stopping by. Yes, yes, women are sometimes hard to deal with, so much drama.
Big Heavy, I really don't give a fuck if she buys a house or not, I would just like there to be a little equity on the "consulting" each other area.
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