The BMW story
Once upon a time in a land very close to where I live now I was married to a man and he had a job. He did very well at his job and I was very proud of him and all that he had accomplished. I felt that I did my part to help him with his job by taking care of him, and his needs as well as our children and their needs, and our home and it's needs. Without me to take care of all of those needs, it would be much more difficult for him to be the great success that he was at work.
One day, he was rewarded for his great success.
His company wanted to buy him a car.
We were thrilled. They said that he could pick out what he wanted and that they would re-imburse him for the payments, the insurance, the gas, the maintenance, the whole works. Wow, a dream come true, how exciting, how great.
I though wow, I really like those new Honda Accord's; they have a navigation system in them (this is when I was doing a lot of doula work and would take his car to meet clients all over Portland and I always got lost...no sense of direction.)
His company said, "No, it has to be something flashy. A BMW, a Mercedes, a Jaguar, a Volvo, a Saab, you know, flashy." I was horrified.
My husband was set on a BMW.
I was horrified again.
I told him, "We can't drive around in a $60,000 car when there are children STARVING in the world! I can't drive around here in the suburbs in a BMW, what would people THINK?
I suggested a Volvo. That wouldn't be quite so pretentious.
He was set. It was going to be a BMW. I felt sick.
Then he told me that he would get the model with the navigation system so I wouldn't get lost when I went to meet clients.
I thought about it. I was still not happy. I still didn't want a BMW. I just didn't feel right about it. I wished they would just give him a bigger raise and we could buy our own car.
I really like the idea of the navigation system, that sounded really great. It would be great to not get lost in NE Portland every time I had to meet a client at night, or worse in the middle of the night when they were in labor.
It wasn't ideal, I didn't really feel heard, but I decided it was an ok compromise, and agreed.
The car day came. He went to work, not sure if he would be getting it or not, but was pretty sure he would. I of course, would not be a part of this car buying process as it technically was a company car, (although we would be responsible for the payments, the company would just reimburse us.) Later he told me that it wasn't going to work out that day, that he and his boss would go look at cars the next day or next week.
Then he came home early with the car, (to surprise me he said.)
I was playing piano when he walked in the door. I got up and went to go look in the driveway.
He stopped me before opening the door and said, "They didn't have any of the three series BMW's in that I liked, so we decided to move up and get the five series BMW; it's a much nicer car, bigger, and more powerful." "Okay," I said.
"One more thing," he said.
"The five series doesn't come with a navigation system.
I was quite upset.
His answer: "It's NOT your car, YOU have nothing to do with it, it's MY reward for MY job and MY hard work at MY job that YOU have NOTHING TO DO WITH!"
That was the beginning of the end of our marriage. It was late 2003. Things quickly deteriorated with many similar scenarios as the BMW story.
I fell in love with my LBCG in July 2004.
One day, he was rewarded for his great success.
His company wanted to buy him a car.
We were thrilled. They said that he could pick out what he wanted and that they would re-imburse him for the payments, the insurance, the gas, the maintenance, the whole works. Wow, a dream come true, how exciting, how great.
I though wow, I really like those new Honda Accord's; they have a navigation system in them (this is when I was doing a lot of doula work and would take his car to meet clients all over Portland and I always got lost...no sense of direction.)
His company said, "No, it has to be something flashy. A BMW, a Mercedes, a Jaguar, a Volvo, a Saab, you know, flashy." I was horrified.
My husband was set on a BMW.
I was horrified again.
I told him, "We can't drive around in a $60,000 car when there are children STARVING in the world! I can't drive around here in the suburbs in a BMW, what would people THINK?
I suggested a Volvo. That wouldn't be quite so pretentious.
He was set. It was going to be a BMW. I felt sick.
Then he told me that he would get the model with the navigation system so I wouldn't get lost when I went to meet clients.
I thought about it. I was still not happy. I still didn't want a BMW. I just didn't feel right about it. I wished they would just give him a bigger raise and we could buy our own car.
I really like the idea of the navigation system, that sounded really great. It would be great to not get lost in NE Portland every time I had to meet a client at night, or worse in the middle of the night when they were in labor.
It wasn't ideal, I didn't really feel heard, but I decided it was an ok compromise, and agreed.
The car day came. He went to work, not sure if he would be getting it or not, but was pretty sure he would. I of course, would not be a part of this car buying process as it technically was a company car, (although we would be responsible for the payments, the company would just reimburse us.) Later he told me that it wasn't going to work out that day, that he and his boss would go look at cars the next day or next week.
Then he came home early with the car, (to surprise me he said.)
I was playing piano when he walked in the door. I got up and went to go look in the driveway.
He stopped me before opening the door and said, "They didn't have any of the three series BMW's in that I liked, so we decided to move up and get the five series BMW; it's a much nicer car, bigger, and more powerful." "Okay," I said.
"One more thing," he said.
"The five series doesn't come with a navigation system.
I was quite upset.
His answer: "It's NOT your car, YOU have nothing to do with it, it's MY reward for MY job and MY hard work at MY job that YOU have NOTHING TO DO WITH!"
That was the beginning of the end of our marriage. It was late 2003. Things quickly deteriorated with many similar scenarios as the BMW story.
I fell in love with my LBCG in July 2004.
posted by Kathryn at
1:19 PM
7 Comments:
What a fucking jackass. You have got to be fucking kidding me. He would have had about 1 less tooth when I got done with his dumb stupid fucking ass.
and at that point did you put your foot in his ASS??
Holy crap!! I don't believe I can find all the words to accurately describe his sorry ass....but I think PB made a good start of it! LOL
Deanna
That was the beginning of the end? And then you met your gf in 2004? Shit, it musta got bad real quick...ooooohhh do tell.
is there a parallel to be taken here from the bmw story and the i'm putting an offer on a house story? and this is the beginning of the end of the lesbian experiment? no? overthinking again.
What Pissy said: what a fucking jackass.
And what kimmy said - please do tell ;-)
Pissy, You're my new best friend the way you stick up for me.
Litlsassy, No I didn't put my foot in his ass, I hung my head and sulked thinking that I was selfish and a bad wife.
Kimmy, I guess what I mean by that is; it was a "lightbulb" moment. I knew things had shifted so drastically in such a short period of time.
Big Heavy, Overthinking again. Emotionally, there is a bit of a parallel. I'm not having a lesbian "experiment," I really do prefer pussy to dick.
lilsister,
I will elaborate more in my next post, I'm feeling a bit emotionally spent at the moment.
Love you all.
I have no patience for ANYONE who makes someone feel that their feelings aren't valid. You might not agree with the other person's feelings... but they still have a right to feel however they feel. So if you felt hurt, you felt hurt - I'm sure you didn't WANT to feel that way. You didn't CHOOSE to feel that way. Man or woman - if they don't respect your feelings, they don't deserve you. Be strong and remember that you deserve to be happy and treated well!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home