I'm a Narcissist?

A very nice reader, named, "Anonymous" commented this on my post, To My Former Friends:

"Your narcissism is appalling. I've gone through these posts and I'll give you this advice-stop trying to find validation for your shitty ways from other people. Your concern for yourself, however, is touching. Maybe you should become "The Masturbatory Single Girl" so you don't do anyone else any damage with your narcissism. I hope your daughters take after their father. I really do."

Being the insightful person that I try to be, I thought that I should at least look into the possibility that I am, indeed, a narcissist.

So doing what any insightful person who is interested in something would do; I googled "narcissism."I found out this on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)

According to American Psychiatric Association, the following is the description of someone who has NPD. The follwing list was amended by Dr. Sam Vakin and can be seen here. Let's see if it sounds like me. (ME, ME, ME!!!)

American Description Diagnostic Criteria

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy, *I do want to be a princess, or at least I want to have a TIARA on my blog, or behavior, *I do sometimes act like Madonna when I'm singing in the shower), need for admiration *please bow down to me and my Tiared princess self, and lack of empathy *I don't give a flying fuck about any of you, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying, demands to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements) Yes, this does sound like me, (ME, ME, ME!) Wasn't I just telling all of you about the high ranking accomplishments that I have just recently achieved at my brilliant and incredibly powerful career that I have, you know the weekend WAITRESSING job that I'm doing!! I am so important there, I don't think that the place could possibly go on operating if I left that job Wasn't I also just telling all of you in my post Love In Limbo, how I was so fucking brilliant at math and that I was a rocket scientist?
2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion Yes, Yes, Yes! I am all the time sitting in bed dreaming about getting discovered and marrying Gwen Stefani after she finds out how great in bed I am, (oh, wait, I really DO do that!)
3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions) Yes, I only shop at the RITZY grocery stores with the important, special and smart people. My children only play at the NICE park in town (after attending their public school,) and we only wear the FINEST in Target apparel.
4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation – or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Narcissistic Supply) I want you all to FEAR and LOATHE the day that you first read my blog. Be afraid, be very, very afraid. *Actually I really hate it when I am given recognition/admiration from others. It makes me feel very uncomfortable; attention, though I do enjoy.
5. Feels entitled. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her unreasonable expectations for special and favourable priority treatment Yes, I expect that when I go throught the drive thru at McDonalds that they give me exactly ten sugars for my iced tea, and I expect them to do it quickly and not make me wait!
6. Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends I do sometimes make my dd's run in and get my drycleaning for me.
7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others Yes, I am exactly this way; and that is made very apparent by my previous profession of being a doula. Every woman, when she is giving birth, wants to hire a doula who doesn't give a shit about her feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, or choices.
8. Constantly envious of others and seeks to hurt or destroy the objects of his or her frustration. Suffers from persecutory (paranoid) delusions as he or she believes that they feel the same about him or her and are likely to act similarly I would like to have one of those 80 hour recordable dvd TiVo's, but I don't know anyone who has one that I can be jealous of and want to fuck them up.
9. Behaves arrogantly and haughtily. Feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, "above the law", and omnipresent (magical thinking). Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he or she considers inferior to him or her and unworthy. No one ever contradicts me, oh except for my kids every fucking day! And yes, I guess I am arrogant and haughty, except for most of the time when I can't stand myself. And I'm certainly omnipotent and invincible, which is why I spend sleepless nights worrying about everyone and everything in my life. And rage? Oh yes, I'm all the time starting fistfights.

Some other interesting facts:
Only about 1% of the populations are narcissists.
Most narcissists are men, (50-75%.)
I wonder how many of them are lesbians?

Some famous narcissists:
Well, I couldn't really find a list so I made up my own (because I'm superior and omnipotent!)

Narcissus: was the original narcissit from the Greek Mythology. He loved to look at himself in a pool of water. That's where they got the name; I wonder why they didn't call it Kathrynissus, bastards!

Jesus: had to be considered a narcissit. I'm mean come on, He was all the time talking about "being God" and claiming that He could "walk on water," and "turn water into wine, Talk about omnipotent and omniscient!

Hitler: Really don't need to explain anything about THIS guy. He was THE FURER afterall, trying to take over the world and shit; so superior that he tried to take out a whole fucking race!

George W. Bush: And my favorite narcissit; our fine president.
God talks to him, God told him to be president, yada, yada, yada, yada.

So there you have it, fine readers from the internet.
Apparently I am, indeed a narcissit. I wonder if there is any help available?

And before anyone gets bent out of shape that I put pictures of Jesus and Hitler on the same page, you must realize that I can do whatever I want because I'm a tiared wearing princess who knows everything and doesn't care what anyone else thinks!

*I accidently deleted the pictures I used for this post from my flickr account. I didn't realize that it would delete them from my blog. I wasn't be a pussy about taking shit about the post!