Thursday, August 11, 2005

Eight Year Old Girl; Abducted by Aliens

My eight year old daughter, (dd#2,) was abducted by aliens a few weeks ago.

I had my suspicions, but now I am sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it did indeed happen.

The Aliens replaced my very sweet little girl with a sassy, screaming, defiant, nasty, sister-hitting, shrieking, foot-stomping, did I mention shrieking, look-alike.

Those Aliens are gooood.
They know how to duplicate little girls very, very well.
I don't know if they do an alien cloning or if somehow they just do a "brain-transfer" or something. It perplexes me how they pulled it off; but I'm sure that they have my REAL daughter somewhere, either on their planet, or on their mother-ship.

It could be some kind of "test" I guess, like that movie, The Forgotten? A test of a mothers patience and love. Are the aliens interested in knowing if a human being could really keep loving someone who is acting very similar to Linda Blair in The Excorcist? You know that part where Linda Blair's character, Regan has the blazing red eyes and she starts cursing in Latin at the cute priest? Remember how her body is writhing and levetating off of the bed?
Like this...
exorcist
THAT, my blogging friends on the internet, is what my alien-replaced-daughter is doing.

I'm trying to decide who I should call for help.

There is that guy on the radio, you know who I mean? The coast-to-coast radio guy who talks about aliens all of the time. I don't remember his name....anyone?

I could call the Catholic church; just in case it IS a demonic posession.
Maybe Keanu Reeves is available; he excorcised demons in that movie Constantine.

Maybe Will Smith?

The Ghostbusters?

The Poltergeist lady?

Does ANYONE know how to get your alien abducted/demonically posessed daughter back?
Please comment; all help is needed.
I REALLY miss my daughter.
I don't care for this imposter.
She's impossible.

15 Comments:

Blogger pack of 2 said...

The good daughter was with us tonight. we didn't see the bad one.
I guess we lucked out!!!!

Shelly

Thursday, August 11, 2005 11:46:00 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

See how good those aliens are?
The "imposter" waited until she got home from your house to show her true colors.

It was scary
and ugly.
I was very, very afraid.

Thursday, August 11, 2005 11:53:00 PM  
Blogger pack of 2 said...

You will have to call me & fill me in on the details. If you are up now you can call or call me tomorrow.

She was great all night. There was NO fighting & all was well all night...I think most kids save that stuff for the parents.

The most "wild" they acted all night was when you got there, which proves that point...on good behavior for me...for mom...not so much.

Sorry to hear that Woo:(

Shelly

Friday, August 12, 2005 12:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...flashbacks. Aliens did that with mi hija lots o' times. She was PERFECT when not with me...then, RRRRRRRAAAAAAAUGGGGGGGGGGHHHH! YOU CAN'T LEAVE....I WANT TO DRIVE YOU INFUCKINGSANE!

That pea soup is so hard to clean up if it's inadvertently left to dry on the furniture....

Friday, August 12, 2005 4:25:00 AM  
Blogger Kami said...

Can't help ya. They have my son, too. Damn aliens. What would Tom Cruise do? OH YEAH! Give her some vitamins and make her exercise!!

Friday, August 12, 2005 5:40:00 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

My son has the aliens who take him just for temporary jaunts and leave me with Mr. Mouth of Sarcasm and Bile until they return. Hopefully your gal will be back soon.

Friday, August 12, 2005 8:11:00 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

You could try cupping, but that seems a bit medieval! (I don't care if I spelled that right) LOL

Friday, August 12, 2005 11:35:00 AM  
Blogger Torrie said...

She'll be back to normal in about 12-15 years.

Friday, August 12, 2005 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

Woo: Yes when we returned from your house she was on a fighting rampage with her sibs. It ended with her kicking her younger sister in the stomach...lovely.
That's when I was convinced it was a case of alien abduction.

Lil Sis: Luckily there was no head spinning, Yet. I'll have to stock up on the spray and wash.

Kami: I tried shoving vitamins down her throat...I thought that would surely work, but alas, I now just have to go back to Costco to replenish the Dinosaur chewables.
Do you think it's a right-wing conspiracy, do get rid of children of the liberals? To avoid liberals of the future, the Bush administration has enlisted the help of aliens to abduct all of the future democrats? Hmmmm.
I'll have to ask Art Bell later.

Amy: I hope so too. Maybe your son and my daughter know eachother from the mothership?

Jas: Oh that's right, Art Bell. I couldn't remember his name. But if you think it's too late, what do I do with the imposter? I don't think I can put up with her for ten more years...
Plantet Klatoo?????

Blu: Okay, I read the link; it didn't say anything about demonic posession or alien abduction...

Catalina: While you have her there on the planted Klatoo, please make sure she takes her vitamins and gets some exercise, and practice piano, k?

Torrie: Normal? I don't know if a child of mine will ever be normal, remember, I've scarred them for life...

D: Oh I know you need one too...I've seen that kid of yours...Want to go in on a big bulk supply of vitamins with me?

Friday, August 12, 2005 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

That...that picture of that girl freaks me the fuck out.
RSG-I am sorry you have lost your daughter. If I knew what to tell you I would. I lost my step son the same way in the last couple of years. He still hasn't returned and I only see remnants of that precious lil' boy that he used to be on OCCASION.
It sucks.
I'm sorry!

Friday, August 12, 2005 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

OMG!!! 2 words, HOLY WATER!!! lol

Friday, August 12, 2005 2:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emmm yea, they have our kids also, all five of them... I can see my kids fighting to get back to us, but the red eyes and horns just don't disappear overnight!

Friday, August 12, 2005 2:48:00 PM  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

It's a strange thing your daughter is experiencing. It has happened once before here. It's called *looking from side to side & whispering* it's called 'the Abacrombie'. Shhhhh. it's a soul pulling experience for most young girls.
One side wants to be the adorable little girl she was and the other side wants to be be mature.
You, I am afraid are the threshold. You are holding the one thing that will not allow her to cross over. it's a small peice of plastic that is much like the golden ticket. With that credit card you have, she could, in theory...be *whispering* just like all the older girls.

Good luck.

Saturday, August 13, 2005 11:43:00 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

it gets better
then worse
then much, much better
i am on alien #3 now(the siblings are 23 and 18, and she is 13)
yikes

Saturday, August 13, 2005 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger meelo said...

the bad news is, i don't think she's coming back. at least in my case, i ended up a happy medium of the angelic child and demonic teenager. everybody needs a little good vs. evil in their lives. hold on...she is still yours.

Saturday, August 13, 2005 1:32:00 PM  

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