Waitressing Nightmare

Well, in the trauma of XH losing his job; I decided that I need to become at least somewhat employed in case his new job doesn't work out. So I swallowed my pride and went looking for a job as a server in a restaurant. I figured with my years and years of experience and management, I would be a restaurant managers wet dream, it would be easy to get a job and I would make the most amount of money for the least amount of time. After sending out 26 resumes to restaurants with price points all above $30.00 from the datatbase I built myself, and mail merging a very well written comprehensive cover letter and lovely resume; I heard nothing. Nothing. No interview request, nothing.

So, I once again swallowed my pride and went to a restaurant not quite as upscale as the ones I had blanketed. They interviewed me and hired me, so I'm now employed.

Yesterday I went in to fill out the paperwork and discuss my training schedule.

Last night, I had my first "waitressing nightmare."

A waitressing nightmare is one that every person who has ever worked in food service industry has had. It usually is comprised of one or more of the following elements:

• The You're Totally in the Weeds Nightmare. You have tables all waiting and looking at you and you can't get to them. You can feel them watching you and getting angrier and angrier, and there is absolutely nothing that you can do to get over to their table and take care of them.
• The You Can't Find the Kitchen Nightmare. You're looking and looking, but the kitchen can't be found. You know that you have food waiting in the window and your guests are waiting for their steaks, but YOU can't find the fucking kitchen.
• Variation of above: The Kitchen is Really, Really, Really Far Away Nightmare. In order to get to the kitchen, you must go down long hallways, dark corridors, several flights of stairs before entering some sort of mystical labyrinth to find it. Once you find your way back to your tables, you realize that you've forgotten something and you have to go back.
• The You Don't Know What You're Doing Nightmare. (This would be the one I had last night.) This nightmare is when it's your first day and no one told you anything about the restaurant or the food. Sometimes it's combined with the You're In The Weeds Nightmare. You're running around, (probably trying to find the kitchen,) and you can't take care of your guests because you don't know where anything is or what anything is. People are looking at you like you're completely incompetent and you just keep getting sat more and more and more tables.

I'm sure that there are more that I will have the privledge of having once I really start my new found glamorous waitressing job. I'll be sure to keep you posted. I believe the only cure for waitressing nightmares is to leave the business; and even then, if my memory serves me correctly, it takes about five years for them to go away.