Happy Halloween!

It was a successful trick or treat day!

My friend D.Nice from my glamorous waitressing job came over to join into the festivities.
I made a vegetarian, organic chili and an organic salad and served it along with some organic hummus from Trader Joe's and yummy chips!

Then we proceeded out to gather massive amounts of candy on a lovely O'Hallows-Eve, the rain even managed to stop for our trick or treating extravaganza!

Hope you all had a fun time too!

Time to get ready for Thanksgiving . . .

Xanex is my friend

I'm on stress overload.
My kids are stressing me out.
My LBCG is stressing me out.
My XH is stressing me out.
I am stressing me out.

I need to figure out what I am going to do with my life career wise and be able to make a decent (read: good or great,) income.

These are the six months that I am giving myself to figure it out and I'm afraid that it's not going well. That combined with the stessors mentioned above is not making a happy RSG.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just needed to scream!

Now I have to go be sick before I go to my stupid job that leads to nowhere and doesn't pay well.

2000

Today marks the event of the 2000th soldier perishing in the war in Iraq.
I just heard on the news that the 2001st died earlier today.

All over the country are peace vigils will quietly mark this tragic milestone. In the Portland area alone, I am aware of four seperate candlelight vigils that will bring together hearts and love and hope for the ending of this war.

At the same time, indictments may be handed down in the next three days for high political figures who lied about the reasons for going to this war in the first place.

I remember the day we first struck Iraq.
I was at the Oregon Coast during Spring Break on a blustery stormy day. I could see the ocean waves hitting the rocks and hear the wind and the rain against the beautiful home that we had rented.
I watched CNN as the sound of children playing filled the back of the room.
I knew somewhere in Iraq was another mother, just like me, who had children, just like me, who was now sitting in terror.
Listening to the sounds of bombs and guns, watching her home, her town, destroyed. Seeing her husband, her child dying or injured.
My heart was sick and broken.
And it still is.

I wish someone could PLEASE try to explain to me WHY those 2000 soldiers have lost their lives. Why 2000 mothers cry themselves to sleep at night. Why there are wives and husbands who are now widows and widowers. Why there are women and men who need to try to explain to their children why they will never see their parent again.
WHY the thousands and thousands and thousands of Iraq citizens have lost their lives, their homes?

What are the loss of these lives worth?

Our administration attacked a country which was of no threat to us, ignored those who advised them against it, and ridiculed anyone who questioned their actions.
And here we are, marking a terrible day, with no real hope of stopping this madness anytime in the near future.

I really don't understand.

The Drama Queen

I am a self-proclaimed drama queen.
I'm very dramatic about most things and especially when I'm sick. My daughters are similar to me, (well the oldest especially and then the middle, the youngest is pretty laid back.)

Well it just so happens that I somehow managed to get a dog who is also a drama queen.

Ginger went to the vet for the first time today.
Dr. Cute Lesbian Vet checked her over and proclaimed her to be in good health; she weighs 3.5 pounds!
Then it was time for the shot.

Dr. Cute Lesbian gave her a cookie to distract her and held her in one hand while holding the shot in the other. She said that she might squeal a little.
She was wrong.
She carried on and on and on squealing and squealing and crying like someone was KILLING HER! Dr. Cute Lesbian had to get an assistant to help her with little 3.5 pound Ginger!

It was so embaressing.

So I guess that just means that she is for sure MY dog.
She's a drama queen just like her mother.
And people say that we look alike too!

Katie Holmes is in for a huge surprise

I caught a bit of a short interview with Katie Holmes.
She was asked if she was excited about the baby and if she was getting the nursery ready.
She answered that they were getting the baby's room ready and learning to knit.

She's learning to knit?

That poor girl is in for a rude awakening. I wonder if Tom didn't share with her that Scientologist are expected to give birth without drugs and without making noise.

Ha.

She better be doing a lot more than learning to knit in the few short months that she has before she gives birth. She should be learning every Bradley, Lamaze, and Hypno-birthing theory ever published. And she'd better find a good doula.

Cuz knitting isn't going to do shit for her while in labor!

But really what can you expect . . . she is only fourteen.

It's Ginger

I know, I know, I know. . .
You all liked Daphne. But the truth is that the girls were having a really hard time saying Daphne and it was bugging the shit out of me. The little ones kept saying Daph-a-knee.
When I thought of Ginger I really thought that it fit her and it was much easier to say!
DD#2 was the only hold out, (of course.)
Finally she gave in when I said that her name could be Gingersnap and we could call her her Ginger. She was sold.
So it's Ginger.

Shelly, Angie, and my brother are rebelling and calling her Daphne-Ginger.
Brats.

She is SO DAMN CUTE!
She's only had one or two accidents. She is trained on the piddle pads and she has slept through the night every night she's been here. We heart her!

I remember when I had Macy and Rudder as puppies, I thought that it was so much work having a puppy; I was exhausted looking after each of them when they were babies.. That has always been my frame of reference for having a puppy; it's a LOT of work.

Well, I guess I didn't realize that after you have one, two, and then three babies; you realize what a LOT of work is.
Having a puppy is a walk in the park compared to a having pre-schooler and tandem nursing a toddler and an infant all at the same time.

So I'm relieved.
Having Ginger isn't really a big deal; it's quite a joy and she is a lot of fun.

Right now she is sleeping because she is soooo tired!

Shhhhhhhh!

A new arrival . . .

Okay, my sulking is over.
I got over the disapointment of not getting the little puppies I was going to get and became completely obsessed with finding a puppy.
I searched high and low.
Researched everything on the internet.
Looked at classifieds in Seattle, Salem, Bend and Portland; as well as all of the online classifieds.
I had my list of questions to ask the potential seller about the baby puppies and then on Saturday afternoon; in between soccer games and all of a sudden . . .
I clicked and clicked and clicked again, and somehow ended up on a site that took me to breeders in Oregon and I found her.
The perfect puppy.
I e-mailed immediately, and minutes later they called me. The breeder said that they had just listed her on the website three minutes before I e-mailed them. I printed out her picture, told them that I had to talk to my kids and that I would call her later.
I knew immediately that I wanted her. The girls took one look at her picture and wanted her. LBCG took one look at her picture and wanted her.
That was it.
I called them that night and told them that we wanted to adopt her.
The next morning I drove two and a half hours to the desert in Warm Springs, Oregon and met them. They drove up from Bend to meet me. She was even sweeter in person and I was in love immediately.
That was it.
She's ours.
And here she is:




Isn't she sweet?
She is a Maltipoo; 3/4 Maltese and 1/4 Poodle. She has the most beautiful coloring I've ever seen and she is so damn cute. She is 12 weeks old and is 2.5 pounds. She will probably be about 6 pounds when she is grown.
The girls love her and I don't think that she's ever going to walk again because she is going to be carried everywhere.
The breeder had her crate and pad trained and so far she is doing very well.
I know that Macy and Rudder would love her if they were here and I feel that she fits in well in our home; we are very happy and we all adore her.
Her name?
Well; we all voted and decided on Daphne but then we thought of Ginger.
So she's either Daphne or Ginger.
What do y'all think?

Sorry I have been AWOL. I've been puppy obsessed but I feel better now that my mission is accomplished and was successful; I'm gonna catch up with all of you tomorrow!
Goodnight!

If it's not one thing,

then my dog dies.

Yes, I'm still having a hard time about Macy.
I hate coming home to my empty house.

LBCG and I went to look at two puppies that someone listed on Craigslist. He bought them from a breeder in Arizona and doesn't have time for them. Well after we looked at them and wanted them, he said that he needed to talk to his kids one more time and make sure that they wanted to part with them. Well, after waiting for three days, he e-mailed me last night saying that they decided to keep them afterall.

Bummer. But I know that the right little friend is out there for us somewhere so I guess I just need to be patient.
I just don't like being patient.

DD#1 did not make the Classic Basketball team; she was bummed but handled it quite maturely. Her birthday party is probably going to be rescheduled because so many of her friends can't make it due to a soccer tournament. She is more bummed about that.

I hurt my back moving rocks last Sunday.
I started my period yesterday and have HORRIBLE cramps.
Overall, my week sucks so far.

If you were looking for a fun, chipper post, I'm afraid I can't deliver today.
Hope you all have had a better week.
Ciao.

It's so weird

walking into my house without a furry friend to greet me. It's amazing how much you look forward to coming home to be greeted by someone who loves you so much.

I've had a dog for as long as I can remember and my house seems so empty without Macy here. It was really hard to lose Rudder a few months back, but I took comfort in the fact that I still had Miss Macy around. Now she is gone too and it just seems weird.

I posted about her in lasts weeks SPF and I was looking back at that post thinking how strange it was that she was gone one week after that. How does that stuff happen? Weird.

I never thought I would be the type of person to want to run right out and get another dog after my dog passed away; but I have to say, I don't know if it's such a bad idea. I do need to mourn Macy's passing but in some ways I have been grieving her loss for awhile now. I've known for the past year or so that she was declining (solely based on her age and behavior,) and I've thought a lot about whether or not we would want another dog and what kind of dog that would be. I do think that I would at least like to put the idea out there and be ready for the right puppy should he or she come along. Afterall, I am hoping that I'll have a "real" job by next year and that would not be a great time to get a puppy; now would actually be better while I'm still only working part time and around a lot. It's something I need to think about.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and condolences. I know that most my commenters are dog and pet lovers and know how hard it is, and I appreciate you letting me know you're stories and that Macy was greeted by your precious pets when she made her transition. You all mean a lot to me. I know that's also weird, but I know you all know what I mean. It amazes me so much, how much words typed over the internet can reach someone and touch them so deeply. You guys rock.

Ciao.

Sad day . . .

Macy was coughing in the middle of the night and having a hard time breathing.

I called the Emergency Vet and they told me to bring her right in.

I got all the kidlets up and took them over to LBCG's to drive Macy to the EV.

There they assessed her and started her on medicine to relieve the fluid in her lungs and gave her oxygen. They kept her there for two hours and gave her three doses of the medicine but she did not improve.

She was then transferred to our regular vet.

I knew when they brought her out to me that it was the end.

She had this vacant look in her eyes that I'd never seen before.

She could hardly breath and kept coughing up fluid.

When we arrived at my regular vet a few minutes later he came out to tell me that he didn't think that she would get better.

I knew that.

I knew that she was failing and I didn't want her to suffer a minute longer than she needed to.

I called my mom so that she could say goodbye to Macy over the phone.

Macy didn't say anything back.

I think she was just waiting.

It was very fast.

I held her in my arms and talked to her.

And she was gone.

She was a good, good dog and I loved her very, very much.

She had fourteen great years and was loved by a lot of people.

And I'll always love her and remember how great and pretty she was.

She had two nicknames: Woo, and Biggie. Woo, because she was so pretty (woo-woo!) and Biggie because she was so little. She was Biggie Woo.

She did NO tricks and didn't listen. But she was good and nice and sweet. She loved me a lot and really loved my Mom and LBCG.

She hated to go out in the rain. She was prissy that way.

Her favorite thing to do was sleep with me.

And get treats.

And eat canned food.

She got to do all of those things yesterday and I'm glad.

I'm glad that she didn't suffer long and that I did everything that I could for her. I'm sure she appreciates being where she is now.

I hope it's a nice place.

The Aliens returned and took DD#2. Again.
The prototype they replaced her with is screaming her lungs out right now as we speak.
I'm waiting for her head to start spinning around . . . any second.

The Broken Dog was up TWO times in the middle of the night to pee. Apparantly the new cardiac medicine must make her have to go.
She has fallen down twice today.
It's very pathetic.

Maybe the aliens should take the broken dog?

The Broken Dog is doing well.
She is now on Anacard, a cardiac medicine to help her heart not work so hard. She is also now eating a prescription (read: expensive,) canned dog food to help with her Kidney and Liver function.

The Broken Kid is doing well too.
She has Classic Basketball Try-outs tonight.
I see ice in our future this evening.
And Advil.

I am SO FUCKING TIRED.
I put that in BIG letters because I can hardly remember a time that I have felt more tired than I do right now. The last few days I have been completely dragging and un-motivated. I did my dishes for the first time today since Friday.
There has been NO bleaching of countertops.
If it wasn't for my mom and restaurants, my children would have been forced to eat turkey sandwiches for dinner.
Luckily my mom feeds us once a week or so and I don't have to do anything.
I heart her.

I have to take off to GI Joes to purchase new (read: expensive,) Basketball Shoes and shorts for DD#1.
As I'm writing this, Macy just ran into the wall.
WTF am I going to do with that dog?

One Last Thing . . .

Can SOMEONE explain to me who this woman is that W. wants to put on the Supreme Court? I just went to a website outlining her credentials. I had NO idea that it was so easy to become a Supreme Court Judge.
Maybe I should become one?
The Honorable Judge Recovering Straight Girl.
nice.

Broken dog, Broken kid

Today was filled with books, happiness, irritation, fun, doctors, vets, and lots of money leaving my checking account!

Today was Monday.
The one and only day of the week that I don't have to get up early in the morning and go ANYWHERE. XH has the girls and he takes them to school, and I don't have to be at my Glamorous Waitressing Job until 11:15. It's lovely.

But last night I received a phone call reminding me that I signed up to volunteer at the school's book fair. . . at 7:30 in the morning.
What the fuck was I thinking??? My ONLY day to be lazy and sleep in.
Can you say "stupid bitch?"
So, I was up and off to school early in the morning selling books to small children.

Immediately after my retail sales fun; I was at the bank signing my second mortgage refinance. I was able to refinance my second and pay off all of my debt for 1.5% lower and for five years less. I was so excited. I am hoping that after it funds, I may have enough to buy a little something for the family. Maybe one of those recordable DVD TiVo's? The one I covet.

I spoke to XH. He told me he was concerned about DD#1's knee. She seemed to have injured it last week at PE class and was complaining about it all weekend. I told him I would take her to the doctor to get it checked out.
I also needed to have Macy looked at.
I noticed on Sunday that she seems to have lost a lot of weight lately. All of a sudden. And she is more stumbly than usual.

So in between borrowing 30 thousand dollars and waiting on irritating people; I made doctor appointments, for this afternoon, for the two of them. And after seeing both the pediatrician and the veternarian it was determined that both the dog and the kid . . . are broken.

DD#1 has a condition called Osgood-Schlatter Disease. It's a condition that affects young athletes typically when they are having a growth spurt causing pain and inflammation to the area below the kneecap. I guess if anyone is really interested, they can click on that link and read all about it. She'll be fine. A little ice, ibuprofen, rest, elevation. It could take 6 to 24 months to get better completely and may reappear throughout puberty, but it shouldn't affect her future athletic career. So with my lame daughter in tow; I was off to the vet.

Macy's problem is a little more serious.
She has Cardiac Cachexia with valve failure. Basically she is in Congestive Heart Failure and her tissue is wasting away from lack of oxygen caused by hypertension. The lack of oxygen to the muscles and tissue is what is causing the sudden weight loss. Her heart is quite enlarged and she has very high blood pressure.
Dr. Cute Lesbian Vet took some blood which will come back tomorrow and will determine the course of treatment for little Macy. If it's just her heart then she will take blood pressure medicine which should help; if her kidney and liver are also a problem, then she'll have to be on several medicines and a special diet.
So exam, blood tests, stool samples, urine samples, and x-ray equals $227.00 out of my DVD/TiVo fund.
Oh well, it's only money and I want Macy to have a good quality of life for however long she lives. Poor Macy.

I finished the day dosing myself on several TiVo'd television shows, a kahlua parfait and nachos while snuggling on the couch with my heart-broken doggie dreaming of that fancy TiVo, simpler days, and healthy family members; both the furry and the non-furry ones.